


Earth's Weaknesses: Part Five

by WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter



Series: Earth's Weaknesses: The 100 [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Badass, Bisexual Female Character, Canon Compliant, Clarke and madi's found family has me all in my feels, Drug Addiction, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Murphy x Alyssa is my brotp, Murphyssa BROTP, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, POV Original Female Character, Protective John Murphy (The 100) - Character, The 100 (TV) Season 5, Undercover, and in this they have alyssa too, don't @ me i love them, so adorable, very very slow slow burn STILL bellamy blake x oc, why does alyssa have so many knives?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24307447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter/pseuds/WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter
Summary: Part 5 of 7Set during Season 5 of The 100. It's been six years since Praimfaya. An extra year since Spacekru were meant to come back. Alyssa and Clarke are worried, but they still have hope. Even when another ship lands. But it's the Eligius ship, and the people on it aren't willing to play nice.
Relationships: Abby Griffin/Marcus Kane, Alyssa Jones & John Murphy, Alyssa Jones & Madi, Bellamy Blake/Alyssa Jones, Bellamy Blake/Echo, Bellamy Blake/Original Female Character(s), Clarke Griffin & Madi, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Original Female Character & Madi, Raven Reyes/Miles Ezekiel Shaw
Series: Earth's Weaknesses: The 100 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722190
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	1. Still Breathing

I ran a hand over my face, urging myself upright. Next to me, Clarke lay and for a moment I thought she was dead, but then my eyes rested on her chest as it rose and fell and I leant against the wall with a sigh of relief. Clarke’s eyes fluttered open and they landed on me in confusion. 

“I saw the rocket— how— the others?” Her eyes flashed with hope briefly but I could only manage a small smile in reply. 

“Just me,” I whispered, holding out a hand to help her to her feet. Part of the lab had collapsed, but the rest of it was seemingly left untouched. Since we weren’t dead it was safe to say the nightblood worked, and that the radiation wasn’t going to kill us. 

“How?” She asked again, blinking to make sure I was real and not just part of a radiation-induced dream. 

I held up my hand, the black scab from where I had sliced my palm showing the dark blood underneath. “I may have done that as soon as we got here. I didn’t plan on going to space with the others. I didn’t really plan on anyone being here, to be honest.” 

“I didn’t really plan on being here, to be honest,” she laughed, her voice cracking slightly. 

“What do we do now?” I asked, looking around and pulling off the radiation suit to leave me in my regular clothes. Packets of food dropped to the floor in the process and she raised an eyebrow at me. 

Clarke sighed, “For the next five years, we survive. If we try to get to Polis, we may be able to get into the bunker?”

“Then let’s go,” I smiled half-heartedly, “I have food, by the way.” Then I realised the issue, “It might require water to be cooked. There might not be much water out there.”

“We’ll figure it out,” she shrugged. 

I reached into my pocket and when I pulled out the MP3 I was surprised to see it flicker into life. I pressed shuffle and put one earbud in as I tried the door, prying it open, forced to climb through part of the lab’s wreckage on the way. When I finally got out, the world around was completely barren as _Radioactive_ began to play. 

_I’m waking up, to ash and dust_

_I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust_

_I’m breathing in the chemicals_

_I’m breaking in, shaping up._

_Then checking out on the prison bus_

_This is it, the apocalypse_

_I’m waking up, I feel it in my bones_

_Enough to make my systems blow_

_Welcome to the new age, to the new age_

_Welcome to the new age_

~

> _49 Days After Praimfaya_

“It’s two hundred and ten miles to Polis,” Clarke reminded me. 

I laughed, looking out at the deserted landscape, “Well at least we don’t have to swim.” 

She pulled her bag on her back and I did the same. “We got this,” she assured me. “We got this.”

“We’ve survived this far, haven’t we? Now let’s find that rover,” I nodded. 

We retraced our steps to where the vehicle had been parked, but the surrounding area was completely covered in sand. Clarke pulled out a shovel and began to dig, and I helped with my hands until she hit something hard. Pulling the sand away, the gun at the front was revealed and we began to dig faster. 

After an hour, and a five-minute break somewhere in the middle, the rover was up. It was still partially charged, and it was pretty light outside so we chanced it and began to drive across the wasteland that used to be our planet. 

Yet again, I was in the passenger seat because _someone_ refused to let me drive. “I’m a better driver than Bellamy!” I protested. 

“You are not a better driver than Bellamy,” she raised an eyebrow at me. 

“I’ve never hit a person with a car. He has,” I pointed out. 

She deadpanned, “Congratulations on not having committed vehicular manslaughter.”

“Fine,” I raised my hands in surrender. “But at _some point_ I want to drive.” 

“I can deal with some point,” she sighed, but her eyes looked past me into the distance and I turned around to see what she was focused on. 

“That’s… one hell of a sandstorm,” I whistled. 

Clarke rolled her window up and I did the same with mine as we tried to outrun the storm, getting inside the walls of Polis just before it arrived. She hopped out, slamming the door behind her and my eyes widened in disbelief. Less than a week ago, this was a thriving city filled with Grounders from different clans. Now? 

The tower had fallen and the entrance to the crypt was covered in rubble. It was almost impossible to get in. She groaned as she tried to pull away one of the larger pieces of concrete, and I tried to help but neither of us were strong enough to pull its weight completely. Clarke grabbed a pipe and used it to lever it out of the way, but the structure seemed to be increasingly unstable. She grabbed a large rock from inside and brought it out of the makeshift door before going back in and retrieving another. “A little help?” She grunted as I helped her with a larger one.

“Be careful,” I warned, “This whole place could come down on top of us.” I climbed through the hole after her and she passed me rock after rock to toss out. My arms were aching but I continued. If we wanted to survive, we had to get to that bunker. 

Clarke began to bang on the door, desperately hitting it with a rock, “I’m here! We’re here!” She screamed, “Mom!” 

It was no use, so we took a break before going back, pausing to have lunch. She divided up the crackers equally and I had a small portion, licking my lips to get rid of any of the crumbs. We got back to work, using the shovel and anything we could to try and clear some of the wreckage. 

We were there for days, weeks, probably a month at least. One day, I pulled on one of the rocks but it came away faster than I expected, and I stumbled backwards into part of the crumbled wall. Clarke steadied me and I thanked her, but her attention was elsewhere. I followed her eyes to see a part of Lexa’s throne, the rest of it damaged by the wreckage. Clarke pulled a piece out, and it was just the right side for a walking stick. 

I don’t know how, but it appeared to have been keeping the whole structure together and Clarke tackled me out of the makeshift door before it fell down behind us. We tumbled down the remains of the stairs as the crypt collapsed in on itself, only just making it out of the way in time. “Thanks,” I breathed. “Again. What now?” 

“We could have lived in the bunker, with the others, with my mom… Now I’m not so sure. We could be digging for years before we reach them. At least we know they’re safe down there,” she sighed. 

~

> _Two months after Praimfaya_

We decided to go to Arkadia, but it was horrifying to see that it was just as decimated as everywhere else. I ran a hand through my hair in disbelief, not wanting to admit that we were really, truly alone. I gasped, “It’s like… we were never even here.” 

“Maybe we never should have been,” Clarke replied quietly as she began to sift through the wreckage. 

I took a small sip of the water bottle as the sun went down, and Clarke finished it off. That was the last of our water. “How the hell are we going to make it five years?” 

“We’re here looking for food and water, but I don’t think there’s anything here,” she sighed. 

“I have nothing apart from one noodle pack left, and I think it’s got a hole in it,” I moaned. “Find anything useful?” 

Clarke pulled out a few items she’d picked up from the wreckage, and I showed her some of mine. Nothing decent, just a couple of knives that had survived the death wave. She pulled out a small box, but it was shut with a padlock. I looked around for something to unlock it with but she beat me to it, going at it with a mallet and breaking the clasp completely. 

She pulled the box open and her face fell. The box had belonged to Jasper.

It only contained three things. His goggles, a small MP3 player that belonged to Maya— it had her name on the back— and an envelope addressed to Monty. My eyes filled with tears and Clarke reached for my hand, squeezing it reassuringly as we both sobbed. 

“Maybe Jasper had the right idea,” she whispered through the tears. “Maybe we were the problem. What’s the point if there’s only pain and suffering?” 

I quoted Raven, “What’s better than a little pain to remind you you’re still alive?” 

“You still have hope?”

“I know that they’re alive, up there,” I pointed to the sky. “And for as long as they are, then yeah. I still have hope.” 

Once Clarke was asleep, I grabbed the radio and sat on top of the rover to keep watch. I wasn’t sure what I was keeping watch for, or who I was waiting for, but I did it all the same. I never liked sleeping that much anyway. Clarke talks to Bellamy through the radio. She doesn’t know if he can hear her or not, but she does it to stay sane. I get it, I do the same thing every night once she’s asleep. She calls once every day, and when I can’t sleep I climb up on top of the rover and I listen to the static noise during the gaps of when I try and decide what to say. 

I took a deep breath, “Hey. It’s me again. I’m still counting the days, just like back on the Skybox. Nothing like some numbers to keep you sane, right? Nightblood’s good, I’m still kicking. Still a bit of radiation burns on my arm but it’s nothing I can’t handle. How’s the algae? Monty enjoying himself? We found some of Jasper’s stuff today, there’s a letter for Monty. I’ll keep hold of it until we see you guys. Five years is a long time, but it’s only a few years longer than my Skybox time.” Tilting my head back, I looked at the stars and imagined where the ring would be. “I can’t see you guys, but I know you’re up there. I know you’re alive. If you’re still breathing, then so am I. You give me hope,” I whispered. “You always have.”

~

I plugged my MP3 into the rover, sending a smile in Clarke’s direction as she changed gears. “Got any preferences?”

“I’m going to have to put up with your singing for five years, Lyss, just pick a song,” she laughed. 

It was the first time I’d heard her laugh in a way that sounded natural. Since Praimfaya, I mean. Before today it was always forced, or like self-deprecating, or whatever else. But this was a _genuine_ Clarke Griffin laugh. 

“Okay, okay,” I conceded, “You’ll like this one though.” _Fast Car_ by Jonas Blue began to come through the speakers and she shrugged, not loving it, not hating it yet. 

“Alright,” Clarke smiled, “Good enough. Just don’t start—”

_“You got a fast car_

_I want a ticket to anywhere_

_Maybe we'll make a deal_

_Maybe together we can get somewhere_

_Any place is better_

_Starting from zero got nothing to lose_

_Maybe we'll make something_

_Me myself I got nothing to prove…”_

“Five years of this,” she rolled her eyes, “How am I gonna cope?”

I suggested, “Improve your karaoke skills?” 

She snorted, “If it comes to that, then we have officially hit rock bottom.” 

“From the bottom, the only way is up,” I winked. The rover cut through the sand as we drove across the desert. I was singing along to raise spirits and Clarke refused to join me, but she was tapping the steering wheel in time to the music and I declared that in itself as a personal victory. “I don’t mind not driving,” I decided, “I can dance in the passenger seat.” 

Clarke ducked her head and rolled her eyes, traces of the smile still remaining on her face as we cut across the land. That night, we slept in the rover on the flat land near the top of a hill, with a few of the surrounding area. I lay on my back on the roof, watching the stars as I drifted off, putting the radio down and breathing slowly. I closed my eyes, not expecting something small and wet to land on my forehead. 

I shot upright, blinking and trying to figure out what it was and where it came from. _Water._ Another droplet landed on my hand, and I felt it wet my hair as I grabbed the radio and stowed it inside the rover, jumping down and shaking Clarke awake. 

“What’s up? What’s happening? Are we under attack?” She sat up, startled.

“First of all, there’s no one to attack us, we are literally the last living souls on this planet that are above ground. Second of all, you gotta see this,” I pulled her out of the back door of the rover and she tilted her head back as we both stood there in the cold water for a moment.

She grinned in relief, her tears of joy mixing with the rain as it fell as we opened our mouths and let the refreshing water land on our tongues. We set up our bottles to collect the water and stood there in the rain until we were completely drenched, loving every minute of it. 

~

The sandstorm had damaged the solar panels too badly for us to continue. The rover refused to budge so we were forced to continue on foot through the dead trees. Clarke scoffed, smiling. “Think you can kill us?” She asked the surrounding area, “Have at it.” 

Wind whistled as we walked through the desert. We had been out of water for at least a day and I couldn’t take one more step. My lips were chapped and my face and hands were burnt almost raw from the unrelenting sun. “Hope,” I whispered, “I still have hope,” before I pitched sideways into the sand, unable to even think any more. 

I woke up to the sound of Clarke screaming and it terrified me to think that something could’ve happened while I was blacked out. I saw her on her knees about two hundred metres away, and I wondered if I could get there, if I could get to her. “I’m done! Do you hear me?” She shouted, “I’ve lost my father, my mother! I lost my friends!” 

I stumbled over, collapsing next to her, “Not all of them,” I whispered, my throat hoarse. I grabbed her hands, “We’re family, remember? We got this.” 

“We got this,” she whispered. “How do you know?”

“We survived landing, Mount Weather, wars, A.L.I.E and a motherfucking death wave. Hell yeah, we’ve got this,” I squeezed her hand. 

“We got this,” she whispered, more firmly this time. “We got this. We fought together, now we survive together. Easier said than done.” 

I mustered a smile, “Since when has any of this been easy? Some of our best decisions have been made in chaos, remember?” 

Before she could say anything else, a bird flew over our heads. Clarke and I locked eyes for a second before scrambling to our feet, following it desperately across the wasteland. She climbed the dune and I was close behind. I stopped in disbelief inches away from her, pinching myself and blinking my eyes to make sure that this wasn’t some sort of dehydration symptom. 

Clarke gripped my hand tightly as she raised the gun and shot the bird that had led us here. We had food, and we were safe. 

We had hope. 

After cooking and eating dinner, we went exploring. Clarke was the first to spot it— the water— and I almost broke down in relief there and then at the top of the hill, but that would’ve meant I wouldn’t have been able to experience it, so I held myself together long enough to make my way down to the water’s edge next to her. 

I took one look at Clarke before I began to shake off my jacket and remove the knives from it, laying them on the side as I kicked off my boots. I took off my cargo pants and I was left in my tank top and underwear as I dived into the clear water before remembering that I didn’t actually know how to swim. I tread water, kicking my legs to stay afloat as Clarke jumped in next to me. I splashed her, and she pulled a face before sending a wave of water back in my direction. 

“Not fair! You hit me with way more!” I protested, splashing her back. 

We had reached our sanctum. Our salvation. Our… Eden. 

Upon further inspection, we realised that we had reached Shallow Valley. There wasn’t anyone left, and the village was a ghost town, but it was filled with wildlife and wooden huts and… and… hope. 

“It’s like the death wave jumped over the entire valley,” I laughed. 

She frowned, “Unfortunately, the radiation didn’t.” There weren’t any skeletons, but there were remains of Grounders, men, women and children, slumped over tables and chairs. Dead. Grounders burned their dead, we decided. So that’s what they deserved. It took three different small fires to do them all. We didn’t want to make anything bigger in case it got out of hand and we ruined the last survivable land on the planet. 

~

> _58 days since Praimfaya_

“By now, Monty should have the algae farm producing,” Clarke said into the radio on her daily chat with Bellamy. “How bad does it suck?” she laughed. “No offence, Monty. And we found berries, a whole field of them. They’re not very sweet, but they’re beautiful.” 

I grinned down at her from across the village. It had only taken a giant death wave of radiation, but I had finally found a new favourite tree since the original one that I had at camp when we first landed on the ground. There weren’t any dropship seatbelts for me to strap myself into, so until I found something secure I couldn’t sleep up here, but it was comfy all the same. 

Clarke had gotten changed into a pair of trousers and a comfy-looking purple top, and I had found a slightly newer version of my jacket and already modified it to carry weapons. Not that I really need weapons since there’s no one here, but—

 _Almost_ no one here.

A twig snapped loudly and I whipped my head around, expecting to see a small animal. Instead, a girl stood just outside of the clearing. She was maybe about six years old? I wasn’t sure, I’d never been good with figuring out people’s ages. Clarke stood up, raising her hands, “It’s okay, we don’t—” 

The girl shot off into the forest and Clarke started after her. I jumped down from the tree onto the roof of the broken campervan next to it and then jumped onto the ground, rolling to not damage my legs. My knee still clicked though, and I winced. I’d almost forgotten how dodgy it can get, since I kept getting other injuries that were always worse enough to take my mind off it. Clarke pelted after the girl, shouting in Trig, _“Please! I just want to talk to you.”_

I followed at a sprint, catching up to Clarke as she looked around and tried to figure out where the girl had gone. She spotted her next to a large tree, peering out from behind it. “Hey,” I said quietly. _“Ai laik Alyssa kom Skaikru.”_

“We’re not going to hurt you,” Clarke pleaded, but the girl ran off. “Are you alone?” She tried asking her, “Are there others?”

“She must be a nightblood, that’s how she survived the radiation,” I realised. 

Clarke nodded, _“You are a nightblood, right? So—”_ She took a step forward and screamed as a bear trap sank into her leg, I gasped, looking around for more traps. The girl ran at Clarke and barrelled her over, swinging a knife frantically. 

_“Die Flamekeeper!”_ She screamed, and I realised she thought we had come to take her to be one of the nightblood novitiates. I pulled out a knife and her eyes widened at the sight of it, but I took it to my own palm and drew a thin line with it. Her eyebrows shot up and she ran. Not the reaction I was expecting, but it was the one I got. 

“Hey!” Clarke called after her, trying to get her foot out of the bear trap. I helped her hold it open and she pulled her leg free before it snapped shut again, narrowly missing my arm. I slung her arm around my shoulders and we stumbled back to the village. 

I cleared the table as Clarke sat on it, pulling off her boot and grabbing the small medical supply kit. She threaded a needle and moaned in pain as she stitched her leg back together. I knew I’d be no help because I definitely wasn’t anywhere remotely as skilled with medical procedures. I think I’ll stick to knives and guns instead.

I fell asleep on watch by the door in case the kid came back to take another shot at trying to kill us. Not that I’d blame her, I mean, we did sort of come into her home and take up residence. In our defence, we didn’t think there was anyone left alive in the first place. I woke up with a jolt and realised the knife that I had been holding was gone. I cursed, why the hell had I even fallen asleep in the first place? I burst inside to get to Clarke, who had just woken up as well. All her weapons had disappeared and so had her bag of belongings from next to her on the table. She slid down onto the floor and grabbed a wrench, ready to use it as a weapon as I joined her, pressing my back to the table beside her. 

Once the light began to creep through the trees, there was no sign of the child. Clarke told me she wanted to clean her bear-trap wound in the river and I resolved to help her get there. She was stubborn, not entirely wanting my help and mostly relying on her good leg and the piece of Lexa’s throne, but I walked behind her and spotted her in case she tripped. 

We got to the river and there the girl was, standing knee-deep in the water with a large spear. I watched as she thrust the spear into the water with a speak, impaling a nearby fish and bringing it up to the surface, smiling. 

_“Can you teach us how to do that?”_ Clarke asked, and the girl spun around, panicked. She ran for it. 

_“Stop! Give us back our things, please!”_ I called her, but no luck. 

Clarke leant against the rock and pulled up her trousers, dipping her injured leg into the water and sighing in relief when it made contact. “Last three people on earth and one of them happens to be the child from hell,” she sighed. 

I laughed, “You gotta hand it to her, kid knows what she’s doing.” 

After Clarke had finished cleaning her wound, and the sun was almost directly overhead, we moved slightly into the shade of the trees, still sitting on the rocks. I put my earbuds in and turned the MP3 on, pressing shuffle and listening to the first song that started. Clarke sat next to me, sketching on a piece of paper for a few hours. I relaxed slightly. Not completely— that kid was still out there, and she was ready to fight— but enough. 

It got late and we decided to go back to the village, so I waited for Clarke to put her boots back on and put my MP3 away. She had finished her sketch, and I smiled after looking at it. It was beautiful, like the rest of Clarke’s drawings, but it was also of the little girl. She weighed it down with a stone and left it on the rocks for her.

Two hours later, she hovered at the edge of the village while we ate dinner, not running away but not coming any closer either. It took one or two more days until she finally introduced herself.

Then, we welcomed Madi to the family.

  
  



	2. Counting Days, Counting Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Prepare to lose, Lyss." 
> 
> "Now is not the time to get cocky on me, Mads."

> _Five years and three months after Praimfaya_

I sat on top of the campervan in the village, taking a deep breath before raising the radio. “It’s been five years, we’re still waiting. The ground’s been survivable for at least three months. I know you probably can’t hear me, but I also know that you’re still alive. Please, we need you. _I need you._ It’s been nineteen hundred days since I last saw you, since the rocket left. I know there’s not enough fuel to get back, but I also know you well enough to know that you won’t give up. So please don’t give up on us.” I put the radio down and sighed, hugging my knees to my chest. The familiar quick footsteps calmed me as I listened to Madi scale the tree beside the car and make the small jump to the roof to land softly next to me. 

“They’ll come back for you, I know they will,” she leant her head against my arm. “They might miss you more than you miss them, you never know.” 

I managed a small smile, “Not possible. Besides, it’s like one in the morning, what are you doing awake?” 

“I have a sixth sense that told me you were still awake. So I came out to see if you wanted anything,” she whispered. “Hug? Berries? Late-night training session?”

My smile grew wider, “You’re like eleven, you have no right to be this insightful. You sure you’re up for a training session?”

“Knives only. Don’t want to wake Clarke,” Madi warned. “Am _I_ up for it?” She grinned swapping to trig, _“Scared you’ll lose?”_

_“Bring it on, kid,”_ I laughed, jumping down from the van. She landed softly beside me, barely making a sound. _“Got enough knives?”_

Madi scoffed before reaching into her jacket and pulling out for knives. I went to open my mouth but she held up a finger to silence me before taking two from her trousers, one from each boot, one from her left sleeve and another smaller one from her thigh. _“You taught me well,”_ she winked. 

“Almost,” I whispered, switching back to English as I pulled out a long thin tool that I had woven into the braid in my hair. “Now _that’s_ how it’s done.” 

She laughed, “You need to show me how to do that.” 

“Of course I will,” I smiled back. “First to get one in each of the posts wins.”

“Prepare to lose, Lyss,” Madi smirked.

“Now is _not_ the time to get cocky on me, Mads.” 

~

> _Six years and one week after Praimfaya_

The ship entered the earth’s atmosphere and I jumped to my feet, practically shaking with excitement. It’s them, they’re here. _They came back._

If only we were to be so lucky. 

The ship wasn’t recognisable as the one they went up in and I tensed as Clarke grabbed her gun, looking through the scope to read the side of it. “Eligius prisoner transport?” 

“Fuck,” I cursed, half expecting the standard response of ‘please don’t swear in front of Madi’, from Clarke, but she was for once too preoccupied to care. “Madi, pack up the rover.”

“Get it out of sight and load the guns,” Clarke told her. 

Madi frowned, “All of them?”

“All of them,” Clarke and I confirmed. 

We climbed into the rover and sped off back towards the village. Madi looked at us in concern, “Who are they? Why are you so scared?”

“I will not let anything happen to you,” Clarke reassured her, but that wasn’t an answer. 

“Maybe they’re friendly?” Madi suggested.

Clarke shrugged, “Maybe. But until Lyssa and I figure this out, I want you to hide in your secret spot.”

“No, Clarke—”

“This is not up for discussion,” Clarke warned. “The flamekeeper scouts never found you there, and neither will they.

Madi shot me a look and I shrugged apologetically. “Don’t worry,” I reassured her. “We’ll figure this out, and everything will be fine.”

She raised an eyebrow, “It doesn’t seem fine.” 

“That’s why I used the future. It _will_ be fine. We just have to handle it first,” I sighed. Pausing, for the first time in six years I whispered, “Be careful, don’t die. Promise you’ll stay safe.” 

Madi stopped, “What about you?”

“Once we’ve sorted this out, we’ll be back, I promise. Please stay safe?” I whispered.

“I promise,” she nodded solemnly. 

Clarke pulled the handgun out of the glove box. “Here. But if you shoot, they’ll hear you.”

“I’ll make sure it’s my only choice,” Madi promised, turning to glance at me. “Knives first.”

I smiled, “Knives first, that’s my girl.” As she got out of the rover I climbed into the front next to Clarke. “We got this. Mads is right, they might be friendly, I mean, we were?”

“I never thought I’d hear you be the one to try and peacekeep,” Clarke laughed humorlessly to diffuse the tension. 

I nudged her, “I'm not peacekeeping. One wrong look and I’m ready to shoot some sons of bitches.”

She smiled, “Let’s do this.”

We stayed out of sight as the first person got off the ship. She wore a mask at first, but after she took it off she shouted to the others, “All clear!” and they came out. They were all wearing similar protective vests and identical outfits, all apart from one man wearing all black, but he didn’t seem to be in charge. The identical clothes suggested an army, but then I remembered that the ship said ‘prisoner transport’ on the side. They must be prison jumpsuits.

One of the men bent down and picked up a leaf from the ground and I looked through the scope of my rifle to read what they were saying, narrating it to Clarke. “Whatever took out the rest of the world must have missed this spot.” I paused, waiting for him to get a response from the woman who had come out first. _She_ seemed to be in charge. “You think?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Okay so I know they’re kind of invading our home right now,” I hissed to Clarke, “But I hardcore relate to that lady’s sense of humour.” 

“Now isn’t the time, Lyss,” she prompted.

“You were right,” the woman turned to the man next to her, the one wearing all black, “Spending extra time in orbit to find this place was a good call. Now let’s see if you can figure out what the hell happened to our planet while we were asleep.” 

I frowned, “Asleep? What does she mean?”

“I don’t know, but they don’t seem to be that friendly. Look at all the weapons.”

I watched as the man in black turned to the woman in charge one more time, “On it. All non-violent offenders with me?” 

“Yeah,” she replied. “Both of them.” 

“Smart, I’ll give him that,” the other man told her. 

She rolled her eyes at him, “Relax, McCreary. You’re still my favourite mass murderer.” 

I turned to Clarke, “Okay, confirmed ID on that dude, his name is McCreary and he’s a mass murderer.”

“Got it,” she nodded.

“Sweep the village,” the woman ordered, “Door to door, then the woods. Let’s find out what we’re dealing with here.”

This wasn’t good. “They’ve got a lot of firepower. Like a _lot_ of firepower. And I don’t recognise half of those guns. Fuck, that one is massive and I want to know what it does _so badly._ ” I whispered to Clarke.

“Lyss, focus.” 

“Have you _seen_ the size of it?” I hissed as we retreated back to one of the cave hideouts to prepare. Clarke sketched each of the guns for reference, and I peered over her shoulder as she drew the final large one. “Look at that thing! Fucking magnificent.” 

Before I had a chance to say anything else, a gunshot rang out. _Madi._

Clarke and I ran through the woods at full speed. Once we were in range, I stopped and scaled the nearest tree, raising my gun and firing before the man over Madi had a chance to put a bullet in her. He fell to the ground as Clarke attacked the other one. As she sat on his chest and tried to choke him, a third man grabbed her from behind. 

A third gunshot rang out, and it wasn’t one of mine. I adjusted the scope to see Madi holding out the handgun and I dropped from the tree and ran over. “You guys okay?” I asked breathlessly, looking around for any more of the Eligius crew. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Clarke reassured Madi as she took the gun from her to raise it towards the remaining man. 

“Wait. He tried to help me,” Madi told her. “I think he might be a good guy.”

Clarke’s finger tightened on the trigger and the shot echoed through the woods. “There are no good guys.” 

My mind thought _‘fucking badass’_ , but what actually came out of my mouth was “There’s a shit ton of them and we have to move. Now.” At least my mouth has its priorities straight.

It was annoying that I hadn’t had to say this in six years. We were finally safe… but now?

_We were so screwed._

  
  



	3. Eligius IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bite me, McCreary."
> 
> "How the hell do you know my name?"
> 
> "You ain't exactly subtle."

We set traps. Traps that were Madi’s specialty. All we had to do was draw them in to save their wounded, and then take out their leaders. Simple as that. Although I had dibs on McCreary, he seemed like a real ass. Clarke, Madi and I hid behind the rocks with the two large rifles perched in the gaps, ready to shoot when they emerged from the forest. In front of us, the first man to get caught in the traps wailed in agony as two blades punctured his chest, coming straight out the other side and holding him in place.

“This isn’t right,” Madi whispered.

“Madi, I know, but this is our home, _your_ home,” Clarke said quietly. 

“And they want to take it from us,” she replied. 

I nodded, “That’s right.” Quoting Bellamy, I looked at Clarke. “Who we are, and who we need to be to survive are very different things.”

She agreed, “Exactly.”

Madi paused, “But he doesn’t have to suffer. We can kill him now, right?” 

Clarke looked back and adjusted her aim. “Not yet.” 

More of his team emerged with their guns raised towards the surrounding area. The sensible ones stayed back, waiting to see if they could spot us, but McCreary and another man stepped forwards. The man standing in front of McCreary blocked him from view, but once Clarke took him out I had an almost clear shot. I missed by a fraction of a millimetre, chipping the fallen tree that they were hiding behind and cursing. 

McCreary stood up, aiming the large weapon that I’d seen before. A large force emitted from it and I realised what was about to happen, leaving the guns and tackling Clarke and Madi down, covering them with myself. Madi screamed and my ears rang as I tried to figure out what that gun was. I had no idea how it was made, but _fuck_ I wanted one for myself. “Up,” I whispered, before realising I couldn’t hear my own voice. “Up! Run, now!” 

We legged it into the forest, my ears still ringing and when I touched the side of my head, blood was trickling down it. I swore, wiping it away as we headed for cover. 

“We can make it to the north cave, come on!” Madi urged, leading the way. Her voice was slightly muffled, but I knew what she was saying and I followed. Clarke stopped, leaning against a tree and crying out in pain. “You’re hurt!” she gasped. 

“Madi, we have to hide you, come on,” Clarke decided.

Madi shook her head, “I’m not leaving you.” 

I grabbed her by the shoulders, “I won’t let anything happen to Clarke, but you are our top priority. Okay? I promise I’ll take care of her, but we’re hiding you first.”

“Okay,” she gave in. Clarke found a hiding spot and she climbed inside. “What about you?”

“We’ll lead them away, everything’s going to be fine. Stay out of sight, no matter what,” I handed her a gun. “Knives first though.” 

She nodded, “Knives first. I’ll be okay. You help Clarke.” 

“We’ll be fine, I promise,” I whispered, covering the hole with branches. “I love you.”

“Lyss?” Madi called before I could leave. I turned around, “Be careful,” she whispered. “Don’t die. I love you too.”

I gave her a reassuring smile, “I’ve made it this far, haven’t I?” 

“There! Something’s moving!” One of the men called out. I began to run but my balance was off, and it took everything I had to keep me from tripping over tree roots which meant that climbing was out of the question.

“You go that way, patch yourself up and then come back for Mads. I’ll lead them over here,” I decided.

“Alyssa—”

“Clarke, go! Do you want to help Madi or not? We can’t do that if we’re both dead,” I hissed, already setting off. “Ayo dickheads! This is our turf.” I raised my gun, “And you’re _officially_ uninvited.” I ducked out from behind the tree and shot one in the leg, setting off quickly in the opposite direction from Madi. “Come and get me!” 

Some of them followed me and the others went in a different direction after Clarke. I fired randomly behind me, trying to avoid running into anything as I turned. A shot not from my gun clipped my heel and almost sent me falling forward as it kicked up dirt behind me. If only there was a better plan that didn’t involve being shot at. In hindsight, thinking of one before drawing their attention over to me probably would’ve been a bitter idea, but it’s a bit late for that now. 

I was cut off, no escape. They had surrounded me and I had no way out. _Click._ No bullets. I tossed the gun to the ground and pulled out two knives, ready to fight. One buried itself in a shoulder and the other a leg as I threw them, but I was quickly overpowered. One of my ears was still ringing from the blast and I didn’t notice the man behind me until it was too late. A weak attempt at throwing my elbow into his windpipe missed as a foot made contact with the back of my knee and I lost all feeling in my lower leg, collapsing to the ground. 

“We got one,” McCreary called as he hauled me to my feet, dragging me into the village and throwing me to the ground. “She’s a live one.”

“Bite me, McCreary,” I snapped. 

He froze, rounding on me, “How the hell do _you_ know my name?” 

“You ain’t exactly subtle,” I shot back. “I have ears, you know. Well, at least one working one, no thanks to you.” 

And then I realised what Clarke would’ve done. She would’ve pretended she didn’t know english to listen in on their conversations, not have risen to their insults like me. Clarke would have handled it better. 

Sadly, I’m not Clarke. 

I’m a fuse waiting to blow once too much current is passed through it. 

The man in black walked over, his hands in his pockets. “You only caught one?” 

“We only _saw_ one,” McCreary glared back. 

“I highly doubt she was alone,” the other man warned.

“Let me see her face,” the woman in charge ordered, and McCreary grabbed me by my hair to pull my head up. She looked dead at me, “How many others in the woods?”

“How many murderers in your army?” I raised an eyebrow. 

She nodded at McCreary and he slapped me with the back of his hand, splitting my lip and knocking my head sideways. “Answer the question,” he snapped.

 _“Screw you,”_ I hissed in trig, fully knowing that he wouldn’t understand. 

He grabbed my head and moved to punch me again but the woman in charge stopped him. “No. Not yet,” she warned. “First we pray.” McCreary hauled me to my feet, dragging me into the church as the woman continued. “Secure the perimeter. Her people will come for her.”

“You killed four of our people,” McCreary whispered, his voice sending a shiver up my spine as he held me by my hair. 

I goaded him further, even though it was a monumentally bad idea. “Five. You just haven’t found his body yet.” He hit me again and I grinned, showing my bloody teeth. “Now, now. If she wanted me dead, it would have been ordered by now. You want me for information, and I can’t give you that if I’m dead. Then again, it’s unlikely I’ll give it to you living, but you won’t know if I die first…” 

The woman walked in as McCreary secured me into a seat, binding my hands. I felt my sleeves for my knife, but if I didn’t stay for a little while longer then I’d know nothing and we’d be in the dark again. He hit me once more, but the guy in black stepped in and pulled him away. 

“McCreary, stop. We need her,” he warned, but McCreary turned on him and wrapped his hands around his neck. 

“Hey!” Lady-in-charge snapped. “Enough!” She pulled them apart, “That’s _enough._ ” 

McCreary glared at them both, “He is not one of us. We lose four men, and he doesn’t even care.”

“Five,” I whispered quietly, licking the blood away from my split lip. “But who’s counting, right?” 

“He is one of us,” the woman snapped, ignoring me. “None of us is here without Shaw.”

Shaw. That’s his name. “So,” I announced, wondering if they’d forgotten I was here. “I know McCreary the Mass Murderer, Shaw the Good Cop… gonna tell me your name? You’re obviously the brains here. I mean, if McCreary was in charge you’d all be dead by now, that much is clear.”

McCreary threw Shaw away from him and he lunged at me instead, but the woman grabbed McCreary by the jacket and pulled him closer to her, “We all have a role to play, and we’re all upset about the loss of our men. Take a team and sweep the woods for her friends.”

He left in a huff, knocking Shaw out of the way as he did so. Shaw began to move against him, but the woman advised him not to and he reluctantly let it go. The woman walked towards me and tilted my head up, looking at my bloody face. “You see this?” She nodded to Shaw. 

“Blood alteration like they had on Eligius III. Two suns, no sunscreen needed,” Shaw nodded. 

“Must be how they survived down here,” she suggested. 

I rolled my eyes, “I’ll tell you what happened to this place, if you tell me what your name is and what you’re doing here.” 

“My name is Charmaine Diyoza, and I can’t promise anything. You killed some of our men.” 

“Can you _blame_ me? You come down to the only survivable land on earth and try to take it from me. Newsflash, but I live here, and I’m not fucking willing to give it up that easily,” I sighed.

Diyoza sat down in front of me, “We got off on the wrong foot, you and I. We had no idea that there was anyone alive down here. How could we have? We were just trying to get back home. Imagine our surprise when we found that there was no home to get back to, and then your people started killing me. Surely you can understand why I’m upset. Just like you were upset when we took your village.”

Forever the diplomat. “You got out of your ship with those bigass guns of yours, forgive me for being on the offensive,” I raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t blame you,” she leant forward. “When a fascist government tried to take my home, I wanted blood too. And I got it. Nobody else has to die today. You tell me what I need to know, and we can come up with an arrangement that works for all of us.” 

Shaw sighed, “Look, we know you speak English. You’ve made that abundantly clear. Just tell us what we want to know.”

I continued to evade their questions and Diyoza sighed. “Fine. Don’t talk. But we’ll see what happens when we find whoever it is you’re protecting.” She picked up the radio, “Change of plans, ladies and gentlemen. No more prisoners. Shoot to kill.” 

I eased the knife out of my sleeve and onto the knot, working on it slowly as I continued to talk, “My name is Alyssa Jones. And we have more in common than you think.” 

Diyoza raised an eyebrow, “Really? How so.”

“For one, we’re both murderers. That much I can tell. Two, we’re both badass ladies who know exactly what we want. Three,” the knot came loose. “We know exactly how to get it.” I sprung up from the chair, ignoring the pain in my knee and holding the knife firmly. I swung it towards Diyoza and she stepped back, a hand hovering over her stomach. That’s an unusual thing to do unless you were protecting something… “Four. We’ll do anything to protect our families. Unborn or not,” I glanced at her, hoping I’d read the situation correctly. “How far along are you?” 

“A hundred years and five months,” she raised an eyebrow. “Give or take. Well played. But we need more information on you, not telling us what I already know about myself.”

“You asked,” I mirrored her expression. 

Someone on the other end of the radio checked in again and felt my whole body go rigid at the words, “We spotted one. Blonde. Think she’s injured.” 

I shed my jacket before I sat back down on the chair, tossing the knife and putting my arms behind my back. “I’ll sit here, you can tie me back up, but if you hurt her, I will kill every single person that came off your ship. Got that?”

Shaw nodded to Diyoza and re-secured my wrists. “Believe it or not, this is the best conversation I’ve had in over a hundred years.”

“Oh yeah, I believe it alright. The bunch of murderers you hang with don’t seem like the conversational type,” I laughed. 

He raised an eyebrow, “Are you forgetting that you told us you were a murderer?”

“No, but I’ll talk as long as it’s not shitty small talk. I hate small talk. ‘Where’d you grow up?’, ‘What’s your favourite colour?’ _F_ _loat me now._ Quick question, I know none of you are doctors, but do you know how long it is until temporary hearing loss is classified as permanent hearing loss? Thanks to your big-ass gun, something ain’t right in this one.” I tilted my head to put the offending ear forwards. “Then again, I’ve survived worse.” 

The radio crackled into life with a different voice— McCreary— and I ignored Shaw and turned my attention to it fully. “Someone just ran out of that cave. Harris, Falk, watch your six. Fast little thing, we can cut her off at the lake. Go west.” 

“Okay! I’m not kidding,” I sighed. “I’ll tell you what happened to earth if you recall the shoot to kill order. I swear, _please._ ” 

“Got any more weapons?” Diyoza asked, looking me up and down. 

“They’re all in the jacket. There’s also a knife in each boot. Go ahead,” I nodded downwards and Shaw cautiously pulled them out and lay them next to the jacket just out of my reach. “Recall the order and I’ll talk. Please. I’ll do what I have to to protect my family.” 

Diyoza paused, considering it, as McCreary’s voice rang out again. “Scratch that, she’s going North. I’ve got a shot.” 

“She’s just a kid,” I whispered painfully, “Please.” 

“How many others are in the woods?” she asked. 

“There’s three in total. Me, the kid, and the blonde. I swear, no one else. We’re the only above-ground survivors and if you recall the order I will tell you _why_ ,” I pleaded. “I am begging you, tell him not to shoot.” 

“Fire at will,” Diyoza ordered into the radio. 

“She went behind those twin rocks! Falk! Take her on the other side!” McCreary shouted. 

I realised what was happening, “Look, I know where they are. If you want your men to keep their limbs tell them to stand the _fuck_ down. Those are our summer hunting grounds. She’s leading them into a trap. For god's sake, _listen_ to me! If you want your men coming out alive then tell them to fall back, _now._ Or they’ll regret it. If you don’t give that order those men are going to die.” 

“I believe her,” Shaw vouched for me. 

“It’s the truth, please. I’ll tell you everything. Let her go, and I will tell you everything that happened here. That’s a promise. I keep well on my promises almost as good as I do my threats,” I pleaded.

Diyoza tried not to smile at that last part, but she picked up the radio slowly and spoke carefully into it. “All units stand down. Over.” 

I breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank you.” 

“If we stand down, she’ll get away,” McCreary snapped over the radio. “I’m taking the shot.” 

“Falk, if McCreary disobeys, shoot him in the leg. Harris, if Falk disobeys, shoot him in the head,” she ordered. 

There was a sigh on the other end before “Standing down.” 

“Good choice,” Diyoza told him. “There may be traps near your position. Check it out and report back. Over.”

“Son of a bitch,” McCreary cursed. “It’s a fucking bear trap. Almost stepped right in it.” 

I smiled, “Now do you believe me?” 

“Report to base camp. Over and out,” Diyoza put down the radio before sitting back down on a chair in front of me. “Thank you for telling the truth. As long as you keep doing that, your friends in the woods will stay alive, and so will you. Do we understand each other?” 

“Perfectly,” I nodded.

“Good, let’s start with how the world ended.” 

I laughed, “Which time?” Shaw choked on air. “Okay, I’ll go chronological for you. On the Ark they taught us that the war started with the Chinese first strike, but they were wrong. Instead, it all started with this psycho AI bitch called A.L.I.E. She decided that there was a problem with the earth. That problem was ‘too many people’. So she hacked into the military and nuked everything.”

~

An hour later, I had finished the entire story. I didn’t include many people details, but I told her about the first apocalypse, the Ark, the hundred, the Grounders, Mount Weather, A.L.I.E, Praimfaya and nightblood.” Diyoza didn’t seem too surprised by the whole thing, but Shaw seemed ever-so-slightly in awe. 

“I guess you could say it’s been… interesting,” I finished. 

The radio turned on again, “Colonel, we have five more hostels.” 

I frowned, “That’s… not possible.”

“At least one is armed, are we still playing nice?” the voice asked.

Diyoza and Shaw glared at me as she walked over to me, “Stand by. What did I tell you would happen if you lied to me?” 

“I swear I didn’t,” I faltered, “It’s not possible. They can’t have— It’s not— it’s been… the _fuck_? I didn’t lie. I don’t know—” she cut me off with a backhand to the face and I let my head hang there for a second, exhausted. 

She turned to McCreary, who had come in at some point and had been sulking in the corner ever since. “Take her outside,” she ordered. “Use the collar.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” he grinned. 

Shaw stood up and walked over to Diyoza, “Colonel, she’s cooperating.” 

“Which is why she’ll live,” Diyoza replied. “Her friends, on the other hand…” She picked up the radio, “Five of ours are dead. It’s time to even the score.” 

McCreary picked up a large metal ring and snapped it shut around my neck. He untied my hands before throwing me out of the steps of the church and onto the floor. I gasped for breath, the air knocked out of my lungs on impact. At the first chance I got, I reached up and tried to pry the collar from around my neck. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you,” he taunted. “You might burn your fingers.” 

He pressed a button and volts of electricity shot through my body from the collar. It was like being shock-batoned, except much _much_ worse. I collapsed to the ground, panting and in pain. 

“I wasn’t lying,” I said through gritted teeth. 

“Hit her again,” Diyoza ordered, and more electricity coursed through my body. 

I groaned, collapsing to the floor. “I don’t know who that was, or why they’re here. I swear. I don’t like you, Diyoza, but I now have zero respect for you.” “

“You respected me before?” She raised an eyebrow.

“A hell of a lot more than I do now,” I shot back. 

Shaw walked over to Diyoza, “I guess you made your point.” 

“You might be right…” she thought, “But just in case, hit her again.”

The third round of shock was worse than the other two combined and I did all I could to try and stay conscious. “Touch that button with your hand again McCreary and you’ll lose it,” I warned. 

He zapped me quickly a fourth time and Diyoza shot him a glare. McCreary laughed, “You’re not really in the position to be making threats.” 

“How do you think I stay sane?” I laughed back, tasting blood on my lips for the second time today. 

Headlights appeared and my eyes widened in shock. No… not the rover. Why would they have the rover? Who would be in the rover? Madi wouldn’t… Clarke wouldn’t… _no…_

“Hold,” Diyoza ordered firmly. “And fire on my command.” 

The electrical charge stopped and I pushed myself half up from the ground, ignoring the pain in my… well, everywhere. “Madi. Clarke. No,” I whispered. “Don’t.” 

“Come out with your hands high,” Diyoza ordered, and someone stepped out of the rover. I was completely blinded by the lights to see the figure, but the voice I recognised and it made my heart stop. 

“Unarmed,” he announced.

It’s official. I’m either dreaming or dead. Dreaming or dead. Dreaming or dead. Dreaming or…

Bellamy’s silhouette was framed by the rover’s lights as it backed away. “Just wanna talk,” he said slowly as he walked towards us. 

“Talk? Give me one good reason not to kill you where you stand,” Diyoza snapped. 

“Don’t…” I croaked, “Don’t hurt him.” But no one seemed to hear me. 

Bellamy still had one hand in the air as a warning, and his other hand was closed around something else, but I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. “How about I give you two hundred and eighty-three? That’s how many of your people are gonna die if you and I can’t make a deal.” 

Tears dripped down my face, and I didn’t know when they started, but I knew that I wasn’t dreaming. Or dead. This was real. This was happening. He was… he was _here._ Bellamy raised his other hand and I realised what he was holding. It was a coffee cup with ‘world’s best dad’ written on it. Okay, tell me I hadn’t missed _that_ much? 

Diyoza seemed to recognise it and I realised it was some sort of bargaining chip. The rover completely backed away and Bellamy walked forwards, but Diyoza stopped him there. “That’s far enough. Two hundred and eighty-three lives for one. She must be pretty important to you.”

“She is,” he said firmly. 

“Fucking hell,” I whispered quietly.

  
  



	4. Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're here. You're home."
> 
> "I'm home."

Shaw took me to one of the holding cells on their dropship and took off the collar. “McCreary took it too far,” he sighed, looking at the marks it had left behind on my neck. “He always takes it too goddamn far.” I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me, or muttering to himself so I stayed quiet. Once the door shut behind him, I drifted into a dreamless sleep, only waking up when the buzzer sounded that told me the door was opening again. 

I shot upright but it made every muscle in my entire body ache at once and I decided to just relax and flop back onto the makeshift bed, which was literally just a bench, so it wasn’t very comfy. The door swung open and I turned my head, expecting to see Shaw or Diyoza. Or worse— McCreary. 

Instead, Bellamy stood in the doorway. 

I almost thought I had been dreaming, again. It wouldn’t have been the first time I’d dreamt about them coming back. Landing, meeting Madi, finding a way to get the bunker open… but these particular circumstances were too wild for me to even dream, which meant that it could actually be happening. 

He walked in and sat down next to me, gently lifting me into an upright position. Bellamy’s hands were warm against my freezing arms, and I leaned into his touch. 

“You’re here?” I whispered.

“I’m here.”

“You’re alive?” I choked, “This is actually happening? Wait, pinch me.” 

Bellamy smiled, “I’m not pinching you, Lyss.”

The tears returned, “Oh my god,” I whispered, throwing my arms around his neck. “I knew you’d come back.” Then I remembered something, and I pulled away slightly. “Wait, have you seen Clarke? Is she okay? She was injured— I tried to draw their fire…”

“Clarke’s okay. And so is Madi. They’re in the woods with the others,” he reassured me. “I thought you were both dead. Murphy told me about the nightblood, but we thought that you got caught in the death wave…”

“Oh my god, Murphy, the others… are they okay?”

“We’re okay. We’re all okay,” Bellamy pulled me in for another hug as I shivered, wrapping his arms around me and warming me up. “Your hair’s gotten long,” he noticed. 

I mustered a laugh, “So’s yours,” I ran a hand through his long curls and a thumb along the edge of his beard. “How was surviving on algae and recycled piss-water?”

“I’ll tell you everything later,” he promised. 

“You’re here,” I whispered quietly, still barely able to believe it. “You’re home.”

“I’m home,” he squeezed me tightly as I buried my face in his shoulder. “I made a deal with Diyoza. She agreed to open the bunker. She’s letting you go.” Bellamy pulled away and grabbed a radio from where it was clipped to his cargo trousers. “Raven? Raven come in.” 

“Tell me everyone’s okay,” she asked concernedly. 

“Everyone’s okay,” he assured her. “We managed to make a deal with the people from the ship. And, by the way, the laser comm’s an open line, so they can hear every word we say.” 

A familiar voice came out the radio and it wasn’t Raven’s, “Nice to meet you. We’re not bad people. We—” Murphy got cut off quickly but I managed a laugh, even though it didn’t really sound like a laugh. 

“Raven, keep him away from the radio,” Bellamy sighed, smiling.

“Copy that,” she agreed. 

“Anyway they know the rules, but just to be safe, Colonel Diyoza, here they are again. If anyone tries to get around your security, you pull the plug. If anyone does anything that wasn’t agreed upon, you pull the plug, and if you don’t hear from me every hour on the hour, you pull the plug,” Bellamy confirmed.

She laughed, “Is that all?”

“No. That’s not all. Someone wants to say hello to you guys,” Bellamy handed me the radio with a smile. 

“So… how was space?” I asked quietly. 

“Lyss? How—” Raven cut herself off in disbelief and Murphy took over. 

I couldn’t see him, but I could tell he was smiling, “Hey stranger,” he laughed. “Jeez, and they call me the cockroach.”

“You guys good up there?” I asked, so happy to hear their voices.

“We’re good,” Raven breathed. “Shit, I can’t believe it.”

“Be careful, don’t die up there, okay?” I whispered. “I’ll fill you in on what;’s new with me once this is all over, and I want to hear everything. I miss you guys.”

“We gotta go,” Bellamy rested his hand on my shoulder gently as I handed him back the radio. “Raven, stay safe. We’ll talk soon.”

She confirmed, “Yeah, every hour on the hour.”

There was a jolt and the ship took off, sending me crashing into Bellamy. He held onto the wall with one hand and me with the other as the ship shook. “So what now?” I whispered.

“We go get our people out of that bunker.”

~

Once they broke ground, Bellamy was the first inside. I came down after, wobbling slightly as my feet touched the ground but ultimately staying upright. I unclipped myself from the rope and looked around. _What the hell had happened here?_ There were bloodstains on the floor under my feet, and people crowded around the level above, looking down on us in shock. I turned to Bellamy, who was busy clinging onto Octavia in relief. After the Blake siblings had let each other go, Octavia came over to me and offered her hand. I clasped it and nodded. 

_“It’s been a while,”_ she smiled.

 _“It really has,”_ I replied with a laugh. 

The ropes that lowered us down slowly receded back up to the top and before long, Diyoza and McCreary had arrived. Octavia eyed them suspiciously. “Who the hell are you?”

“We’re here to rescue you,” Diyoza raised an eyebrow, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Octavia frowned at McCreary, “Why are you armed?”

“Because he’s a jackass,” I shot McCreary a glare which he sent right back at me. 

“O, O. It’s okay,” Bellamy reassured her, “We have an understanding.” 

I leaned towards her, “We’re blackmailing them,” I clarified. “Where’s Abby? Clarke will want to see her.”

“Clarke’s alive too?” Octavia asked.

“She is. We all are. Also we adopted a kid, and that kid idolises you,” I informed her. “But I’ll give you the details later.”

Diyoza looked at Octavia, “So I take it you’re his sister?” 

“Yes, sorry.” Bellamy introduced them, “Octavia, this is Colonel Diyoza.”

“Colonel?” Octavia raised her eyebrows.

Diyoza shrugged, “Used to be. Love the war paint, by the way.” 

“Okay, so how do we do this?” Bellamy asked. 

“Two at a time,” Diyoza decided, before turning to everyone else. “Why don’t you people go get your things, and we’ll get started as soon as we’re ready topside?” 

The people began to move and Bellamy frowned, looking around. Something was bothering him, but I couldn’t tell what it was. McCreary raised an eyebrow, “So exactly how many people should we be prepping for extraction?” 

“Twelve hundred,” Bellamy told him. 

“Eight hundred and fourteen,” Octavia answered.

I shot her a look, “What the hell happened to the other three hundred and eighty-six?” 

“They died,” she replied blankly. 

“Copy that,” Diyoza nodded before speaking into her radio, “The number of people we’re saving today is eight hundred and fourteen. You got that, Shaw? How’s it coming up there?” 

I turned back to Indra, “Can you find Abby and tell her that Clarke’s alive and that she’ll want to see her when she gets here?”

“Of course,” she nodded. 

Octavia was the first to go up. It was only fitting that she be the first from the bunker to see the outside world, even though the terrible state it was in. Bellamy clipped her in and she held onto his hand for as long as she could as the rope pulled her up. 

_“From the ashes, we will rise,”_ declared Gaia. 

_“From the ashes, we will rise,”_ echoed the rest of the people in the bunker. 

I nodded at Gaia, “I like your hair.” Instead of the way she used to wear it, her hair was short and light and cropped near the top of her head. 

“You too,” she nodded at me before continuing the chant. 

After Octavia was up, Bellamy and I went back up to help the people as they arrived. Miller came up and I grinned at him as he hugged Bellamy, unclipping him before hugging him myself. “Alright Miller?”

He smiled, “Lyss.”

“Listen, sorry I was such a bitch last time I saw you. I mean, it was six years ago, but still,” I clapped him on the back. 

Miller rolled his eyes, “Relax, I deserved it.” He paused, “Your dad didn’t make the cut for the bunker. I thought you should know.”

“Relax,” I echoed him. “He deserved it.” 

Bellamy eyed the gun at Miller’s waist before glancing towards Octavia, “The deal was no weapons.”

She scoffed, “Not my deal.”

“I need to talk to you in private,” he pressed. “Give me a second, and follow me.” 

Octavia waited before going after him, leaving Indra and me to help people as they came up. Indra tapped me on the shoulder, “We need to get Kane out of here, or Octavia will kill him. Now.”

I nodded, “I don’t need details. I want them, but not now. Let’s do this. Bring him and Abby up. Before they leave, Clarke can see Abby but I’m not sure when Bellamy told the others to get here.” 

Indra agreed, helping Kane as he came up, “Wait until nightfall. If you get caught, I won’t be able to help you.”

I cocked my head in the direction of one of the nearby buildings. “That one has the most solid foundations. Hide out there in the meantime. Second floor, still partially intact, but don’t go near the windows.” 

“It’s good to see you, Alyssa,” he smiled. 

“Good to see you too,” I nodded, “Now get your ass out of here before you’re seen.” 

Night fell and they vanished, although I wondered where Clarke and the others were, and why they hadn’t gotten here yet. Diyoza nodded to two of her men and they pulled out some of the larger guns that I had spotted earlier. _Fuck._ Where the hell had Bellamy gone? 

One man pointed his gun at the fountain in the centre of Polis and with one short blast it was decimated, the one remaining thing of beauty in this place gone. Diyoza smiled, raising her voice, “Sorry about your pretty fountain, but that was only half-power. I know most of you are armed. If anyone moves for a weapon, you’ll see what full power does to human flesh. It’s not pretty.”

“Hey!” Bellamy appeared, Octavia just behind him. “Hey! What the hell are you doing? One call from me—” 

“Make your call,” Diyoza sighed. 

Bellamy pulled out his walkie, “Raven, come in. Do you read me?”

No response. Diyoza’s smile got wider. “The deal’s off, but nobody has to get hurt. Where’s the doctor?”

“What the hell do you want with Abby?” My eyes widened. Clarke wasn’t going to be happy about this. 

“She’s our doctor,” Octavia stepped forward, “You can’t have her.” 

McCreary— who happened to be holding the other gun— made himself visible. “She asked you a question. Where is the doctor?”

“That’s right, not so tough now are you?” The man with the other gun sneered, and I rolled my eyes. 

“Shit, Diyoza. Don’t you have people with _brains_ to have the big weapons? Like… hear me out here, _anyone_ other than those two?” I groaned. 

Part of the crowd from the bunker began to move towards them but Octavia put out a hand. “No! Hold.”

I hissed to her, “I’ve had one of these things pointed at me before. It blew a large boulder into tiny pebbles, and it’s also the reason why I’m— hopefully only temporarily— partially deaf.” 

“I’m right here,” Abby shouted, walking out with Kane behind her. “Don’t shoot. We’ll come without a fight.”

Octavia narrowed her eyes at them, “I bet you will, _traitor._ ” 

“What the hell, Abby? Don’t you want to see Clarke?” I asked incredulously. 

“We?” Diyoza raised an eyebrow. 

Abby gestured to Marcus. “Both of us. Those are my terms.” 

“Take them both,” Diyoza agreed.

Abby turned to me quickly, “Tell Clarke I love her.” 

Diyoza smiled as they were led onto the ship, once again taking centre stage, “Okay then. Here are my terms. The valley is ours. Any attempt to get there will be met by overwhelming force. As long as you stay here, we won’t have a problem. Is that a problem?”

“It’s the last survivable land on earth, and we’re the last of the human race so yeah, I think we have a goddamn problem,” I sniped. 

“What about Raven and Murphy?” Bellamy asked.

“For now… insurance,” Diyoza decided. “Let’s go. On me,” she ordered, but one of the men with the big guns didn’t move. “Szybunka, that’s an order,” she snapped. 

Szybunka turned around, but he kept his eyes locked on Octavia. She smiled, and he yelled, crying out as he powered the weapon and aimed it at her. Someone ran from the side and pushed her out of the way, taking the full force of the blast and exploding into smithereens. 

“Szybunka, you idiot!” Diyoza screamed. “Get to the ship. Move! Now! Prep for emergency evac!” 

“Told you, you need brains for people with guns. You drew a blank on that one,” I laughed, throwing a knife and watching it land in Szybunka’s back with a satisfying thud as he fell into the ship, cursing. The door shut before he could fire back. 

I turned around, dropping to my knees next to Octavia and ignoring the pain that rippled through my body as I did so. “Octavia, can you hear me?” 

“We’ve got you,” Indra reassured her.

“What the hell are those things?” Bellamy hissed.

I sighed, “I don’t know, but I simultaneously love and hate them.” 

The ship took off and disappeared upwards as Indra and I hauled Octavia to her feet. She snarled at Bellamy, “I trusted you, this is all your fault.” 

Miller called to her, “Blodreina, what now?”

“Now, we go to war,” she decided.

Bellamy shot me a look and I groaned, “I’d say we’re a little screwed, wouldn’t you?”


	5. Oh Great, Another War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have an idea. But since I don't even like it, I doubt you lot will."

“Lyss!” Bellamy called, “We got a problem.”

I sighed, jogging over. “What seems to be the issue?”

“Octavia’s sending an army to Shallow Valley. These two are going ahead to scout the area,” he gestured to Miller and another guy in front of us. 

I scoffed, “Like hell you are? Which route are you taking? Do you know how to avoid the sandstorms? It’s the season for that, and they are _brutal_ , let me tell you that. Clarke and I have made that trip dozens of times, don’t be stupid. Going without us is idiotic and suicidal, I didn’t take you for either of those things, Miller. Trust me, you need my help. At least until Clarke gets here.” 

“Miller, can you take us to Octavia?” Bellamy asked hopefully and he sighed. 

They were on the lower floor of one of the remaining buildings, planning the attack. I could hear Octavia before we went inside. “But the village will be fortified, where’s the water source?”

“Here,” an unknown voice replied. 

“Why?” A voice I recognised to be Indra’s asked her, “What are you thinking?”

“My queries exactly,” I folded my arms. 

The woman on Octavia’s other side looked up, and I recognised her from Farm Station. “Miller, your orders were to—”

“I know my orders,” he cut her off. “I think we should listen to what they have to say.” 

I started before anyone could object, “You can’t take the sea route.”

“Why?” Indra stepped forwards, “You said the see is gone. Is it passable or not?” 

“Yes, maybe, but you have to understand—”

I was cut off by Octavia, “Maybe’s good enough for me. Let’s move out.” 

I raised an eyebrow, “You're willing to send people to die on a ‘maybe’?” 

Bellamy stepped in front of her and everyone raised their guns protectively as he blocked her path, “O, let’s think about this.”

“Stand down,” she ordered, and the weapons were lowered.

“Please, O. Just hear us out,” Bellamy said calmly. 

“Octavia,” I pleaded, and she turned to look at me, “We’re all on the same team. That valley has been my home for six years, let me help. Your plan is way too risky.” 

Indra paused, watching intently. “Risky how?”

“Show me,” Octavia ordered and I stepped over to the map. “I get why you chose the sea route, it’s the shortest, but it’s hit by almost _constant_ sandstorms. They’re horrific.”

Octavia disagreed, “We have the tents from the Second Dawn. Sand won’t be a problem.”

“It’s not just sand.” I explained, “Some of it crystallised in Praimfaya. So imagine millions of shards of glass being hurtled at every inch of you. It would tear through your tents easily. Almost killed the rover. So unless you fancy taking a bath in razor blades, then this route isn’t an option. Your tents will be torn to shreds and so will you. Trust me when I say you don’t want to do this.”

“Blodreina is right,” the Farm Station woman said firmly. “Besides, we can only carry rations for seven days. The sea route takes six. The next shortest path adds fifty miles. That’s two days if we’re lucky.”

“Fifty _miles_ is better than fifty _dead_ ,” I shot her a glare.

Indra took over, “How do we know there won’t be sandstorms on the longer routes?”

“Enough,” Octavia snapped. “We’re doing this. The hydro-farm is barely feeding us now, so if this is the last living valley on earth, then it should be ours.”

“Diyoza thinks the same thing,” Bellamy warned.

Octavia smiled, “And so we fight.”

I groaned, “If it’s the last living valley on earth, then why the hell do you want to take the war there? If you destroy it, we all have nothing.”

“This is happening,” she snapped. “You are Wonkru, or you are the enemy of Wonkru. Help, or stay out of my way.” Octavia pushed past us and out of the door, her soldiers following suit. 

I glanced at Bellamy worriedly and we shared a look. _This wasn’t going to end well for anyone._

Indra walked past, pausing briefly before she left. “Your sister needs you, Bellamy. I’m glad you’re here for her.” 

Once she was gone, he frowned. “Am I crazy, or were they going to kill me for getting in her way?”

I shook my head, “No, they were definitely ready to put a bullet in you. What the hell happened down there? What do we do?”

“Raven and Murphy are in trouble, I have to go with them,” Bellamy said firmly. 

“I’ll join you,” I decided.

He sighed, “Six-day hike through sandstorm country with a gladiator cult, what could go wrong?” Bellamy handed me a ration pack and I slung it over my shoulder. 

“I’ve given up on asking that question.”

~

We began the trek and it was pretty torturous. No sandstorms yet, but there was admittedly still time. I wondered how I was going to tell Clarke that her mother had been taken by Diyoza, or rather, how I was going to tell her that she had gone _willingly._

I put my head in my hands, groaning. It was going to be one hell of a conversation. But at least Clarke was safe. And Madi was safe. And they were with Monty, Harper, Echo and Emori. And they were all _safe._

“You okay?” Bellamy sat down next to me. 

I sighed, “As okay as I can be when I have to tell the person I’ve lived with for the past six years that her mother just willingly went with a bunch of criminals and none of us tried to stop her. Oh, and the place we’ve called home? Yeah, there’s now a war for it. A war, on the only survivable land on earth. Shit, have we learned nothing?”

“It’s not your fault. If you’d tried to stop Abby, if any of us had, we’d be at the mercy of those guns. Besides, you helped Clarke and Madi by drawing their fire, even if it did get you captured, it gave them time to get away. You saved them,” he put a hand on my arm. 

“It wasn’t hard, I knew Clarke was about to do it but she was injured. I just thought, ‘what would Clarke do?’ and then I went and did it. Her decisions are usually way better than mine, so I find myself asking that a lot. She’s been teaching me a bit of medical stuff. I can now officially perform first aid. Not very well, but I can do it,” I laughed weakly. “She's the strong one. She’s the reason we survived before we met Madi. She knew what she was doing.” 

“You two needed each other, that’s how you survived.”

I sighed, “She could’ve done it without me. I wouldn’t have lasted a week without her. I mean I had hope, but hope wasn’t survival. Hope kept me going, but it didn’t keep us fed, hydrated, _alive._ It just kept us moving.”

“Hope is a powerful thing,” he whispered.

“Not powerful enough.”

The screams cut the conversation short, “Help! We need help!” I recognised Miller’s voice and shot to my feet. “Medic! We need help! It’s Obika, please help us!” he cried.

“Time to put those first aid skills to good use,” Bellamy decided. “I’ll grab the medkit.” 

I was left standing there, watching Miller as he came in with the other man on his back and lay him on the ground. _Fuck._ I wasn’t ready for this. _Fuck._ I didn’t know what I was doing. _Fuck._

“Please! Hurry! Someone help him!” Miller shouted. 

I ran over but a guard blocked my way. “What the fuck? He needs help, and unless you’re prepared to do it—” _Apparently, I am._

“Let her in,” Octavia resolved.

I dropped to my knees beside him, checking his pulse. That was something I knew how to do. “He’s alive, but _shit..._ his heart’s a mile a minute.”

Octavia turned to Miller who was panting out of breath next to us. “What the hell happened out there?”

“We separated to cover more ground,” he explained. “Then I hear him screaming out that they’re everywhere. Then I get to him and there’s nothing and it’s just more screaming and—” 

“What’s everywhere? There had to have been something. Unless it’s dehydration, has he been drinking enough water?” I was grasping at straws, trying to figure out what was happening. If Clarke were here, she’d know. If Clarke were here, she’d know. Well, Clarke isn’t here, _Alyssa._ So get your shit together and _do_ something. Now! What would Clarke do? What would Clarke do?

I jumped backwards, scrambling to my feet as something moved inside his chest, straining to break free. “What the fuck is that? There’s… there’s something _inside_ him.” 

“You’ve not seen this before?” Octavia snapped accusingly. 

“I haven’t. I’ve only ever crossed this patch in the rover,” I explained frantically. “Get him into a tent.” Bellamy and Miller carried him in and lay him on the table while I panicked, trying to figure out what to do.

Indra turned to me, “Alyssa, what is this?”

“I don’t have a fucking clue!” I snapped, before lowering my voice and trying to calm myself down. “I’m sorry, Indra. What I mean is I’ve never seen anything like this. Miller, tell us exactly what happened.” 

“Nothing happened! We stopped to eat, then we separated again,” he explained. “Next thing I knew he was screaming.”

“Right… well it had to have gotten inside him somehow. Was it in the food? The rations?” I suggested. 

The Farm Station soldier shook her head, “There’s nothing wrong with the rations.”

Octavia nodded, “Cooper’s right, if it was the rations then it would have happened to all of us, we share everything. Miller would have it too.”

“Okay,” I tried to think. “Don’t let anyone else in. We don’t know how it spreads. How the hell did it get _inside_ him?” 

“Wait,” Bellamy touched Obika’s leg and his hand came away sticky with blood. “Look.” He pulled the material away to reveal a small puncture wound on his shin. 

_Think, Alyssa. Think. It got in through his leg, what would have happened?_ It clicked, “It had to have come from the sand. We can’t stay here, it could infect all of us. We have no choice but to go back.” 

“What? No,” Octavia shook her head. “Not an option. We march on at first light.”

Miller paused, “And Obika?”

She looked down on the injured man, “If he isn’t better by then, I’ll end his pain myself.” 

“Fucking hell, is this what you do to your injured?” I was caught off guard. 

“This is what we do to survive,” she shot back. 

~

Bandages. I was half-decent at bandaging things. So my medical under pressure skills weren’t at their finest, not anywhere near as good as Clarke’s, but I’d learnt enough about patching myself up. Enough to bandage up the entry wound in Obika’s leg, at least. Bellamy sat in the corner, watching me while I worked. 

I looked up, “I didn’t say thanks, for before. If you hadn’t shown up when you did, Diyoza might’ve killed me. So thanks.”

“You don’t need to thank me for saving your life, Lyss,” he gave me a half-smile. “We’re past that.”

“You’re right,” I laughed, “We’re pretty much even with saving each other’s asses at this point, aren’t we?”

Bellamy smiled, “Probably.”

I raised an eyebrow, “I’ve been down here six years, and it took you less than ten minutes of negotiation to get that bunker open.” 

“Who knew it would turn out to be Pandora’s Box,” he sighed. 

“Who knew a bunch of murderous criminals would decide to pay earth a visit when they did? I sure didn’t,” I finished with the bandaging and put the supplies back down on the table.

He shrugged, “The good and the bad. If we hadn’t seen their ship, we might never have gotten back down. We may have… ‘borrowed’ some of their hydrazine.”

I smiled, “So _that’s_ why they’re so pissed, you nicked some of their rocket fuel!”

“No, I’m pretty sure you ticked them off _way_ before we came down,” he protested.

I shrugged, “True. I did. I killed five of their people and outed their leader as pregnant to two of her soldiers. And McCreary’s an ass, so I barely needed to do anything other than exist to piss him off.” 

“You goaded him, didn’t you,” Bellamy laughed.

“Okay, maybe a _little._ ” I paused. “Okay, a lot. I goaded him a lot. I really went for it. He hates my guts now. It was hilarious. I tried to kill him like twice.”

“Sounds about—” Bellamy was cut off by the shouts outside. I frowned and followed him out of the tent. “What the hell?”

I pushed to the front of the crowd, “What the—” Great. We’re all screwed. “Sandstorm.”

“It’s blocking the way back,” Bellamy realised.

“Can we outrun it?” frowned Indra. 

“As long as it keeps moving east to west, we shouldn’t have to. But…” I sighed. 

“But what?”

“If the wind shifts… we’re all dead.”

Octavia smirked, “The wind hasn’t met Wonkru. Now we have to keep moving.”

I raised an eyebrow, “You do know you’re not a god, right?”

“Keep moving?” Bellamy blocked her way, “Thanks to you we’re stuck between razor-blade winds and burrowing parasitic bugs.”

“Thanks to you, we’re at war, Bellamy,” she spat back. 

“Only if you insist on fighting it,” he pleaded.

She squared up to him, “Fight or die. That’s all there is. You don’t understand, I get it. Because you’re not one of us.”

He spared a glance towards the tent we’d been working in. “Is Obika one of you? Because you’re about to end his life like he means nothing. I understand that.”

Cooper lunged at him but Miller stood in the way. Someone else moved towards him and I blocked their path as they muttered, “Show some respect.”

“Bellamy,” I warned. 

“Easy,” Octavia said cautiously, “I’d stop if I were you.”

Obika began to scream again and I cursed. “I think he’s awake.”

“You think?” Octavia snapped. 

“Fuck! Keep him still!” I tried to think. _What would Clarke do? What would Clarke do?_

Obika began to shout, _“Get it out! Get it out!”_ and I could see the thing squirming in his chest. It pulled tight, like it was about to— 

“Get down!” I shouted as the bug broke free, diving away as it burst through Obika’s skin, killing him. I got to my feet as fast as possible, “Everybody out!”

Octavia fell against the tent door and it tore free, wrapping her in its fabric as she squirmed, hitting the ground and writhing around in agony. Bellamy landed next to her, holding her and tearing the fabric away. “Indra! Burn it down! Kill them all!” She ordered, and Indra was more than happy to oblige. 

I looked at Octavia’s arm and groaned inwardly. One of them was inside, the entry hole near her bicep made that clear enough. It was inside of her. And unless she wanted to end up like Obika, I had to get it out. _I didn’t sign up for this shit. I’m not Clarke Griffin, I have no fucking idea what I’m doing._

I didn’t realise I’d said it out loud until Bellamy grabbed my arm, “You got this, now tell me what we have to do to save my sister.”

“Get her inside! I think I’m gonna need a table, and something sharp and sterilised?” That seemed like something Clarke would say, so the words were out of my mouth before I’d even registered them. “We can’t let it get any further, it’d be bad if it got into her chest like it did with Obika, so I’m gonna need a medkit, and something to cut off the blood flow.” 

“There were dozens of those worms, they must lay their eggs—” I cut Cooper off before she could say anything to make me more panicked. 

“Get me a fucking medkit and stop telling me how this could go horribly wrong!” I snapped. “Screw it, I’m not waiting.” I tied the rope around her arm to cut off the blood flow and pulled a knife from my jacket. “It’s now or never.” I nodded to Bellamy and he reassured Octavia as I tried to stop my hands from shaking. Making the incision was a hell of a lot harder than it looked. “This is gonna hurt like a bitch,” I warned. 

The knife sliced through her arm and I stuck my fingers inside trying to grab it. Bellamy shot me a worried look, “You’re going to lose it.” 

“I don’t lose,” I said through gritted teeth as I closed my hand around the worm.

“Just— pull it— _out!_ ” Octavia grunted. 

The last thing I expected to hear at that moment was Monty’s voice. A lot of screaming, yes. Monty’s voice? That was a curveball. “Please, if you can hear me, this is an emergency.” 

“Take it! I got this,” I told Bellamy, before turning back to the matter at hand. I tried pulling on the worm but it wouldn’t budge. Son of a bitch really got into her. 

“Monty, it’s me,” Bellamy spoke into the radio. “I don’t know what’s happening but I think we got your emergency beat.” 

“I doubt it,” Monty warned. “The prisoners have an eye in the sky on the mothership, and a missile system on their transport ship. They’re on their way to you right now. You have to move. Hide somewhere, take cover.”

I cursed, “Missiles! Are you fucking kidding me!”

“We have a friend on the inside. If Murphy’s right, the eye on the sky won’t be watching. You have a short window, but you have to move now.”

The worm tried to burrow further into Octavia’s arm but I grimaced, “Not on my watch,” and yanked it out in full. Octavia gasped as it came out, before relaxing slightly. Then I realised I was holding a flesh-eating worm in my hand. “What the fuck do I do with this?”

Indra held out a jar and I pushed it inside, watching with relief as she screwed it shut. But now, the worm was the least of our worries. She turned to Octavia, “Where do you find cover from missiles in the middle of a wasteland?”

“If we retreat, they’ll stand down, but I have a feeling that’s not an option?” I suggested. Octavia shook her head firmly as I wrapped the bandage around her arm, feeling like I was finally able to breathe. 

“Wonkru does _not_ retreat.”

“You do if you want to live,” Bellamy protested. 

Indra, the voice of reason, cut in before we could have a repeat of earlier. “Now is not the time for a debate. Even if we did retreat, the path home puts us in the middle of a sandstorm.” 

“Those ruins are not our home,” Octavia snapped. “That valley is, and we’re taking it back.”

“Octavia, you’re not going anywhere. Not yet,” I warned, “That worm venom isn’t doing you any good.” 

_Path of a sandstorm. Path of a sandstorm. Sandstorm. How do you hide from an eye in the sky?_ “I have an idea,” I groaned. “But since I don’t even like it, I doubt you lot will.”

~

There are good ideas, and there are bad ideas. The jury’s still out on this one. Where better to hide from a camera than a sandstorm? We’d never be spotted, that’s for sure. But on the other hand, people could die. Not only could people die, they could also be in extreme pain because we were currently clustered together in a huddle around Octavia in the middle of a fucking razor-glass-sandstorm while I applied pressure to the wound on Octavia’s arm to keep it out of the way of the oncoming barrage of the sandstorm. 

It would be a while before it passed, but at least we’d miss the missiles. The downside is the wounds, that without Clarke, I’d have to help treat. Even though I had no fucking clue what I was doing. It should be Clarke here, not me. She would know what to do. She would handle it better. 

Better than me, anyway. 

By the time the storm passed, eight had died, and the number was climbing. Indra coughed up blood, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. The only good side was that Octavia was still alive, and no one else had been attacked by the worms. “Blodreina. There’s eleven dead, twelve including Obika.” Miller informed her, and I recalculated my internal total to eleven. Eleven people died because of my stupid plan. My plan. _My fault._ And Obika because I couldn’t get that damn worm out in time. 

“Take their weapons and their armour,” Octavia told him. “Leave the bodies.”

I frowned, “I thought we were supposed to burn our dead?”

“We haven’t burnt our dead in six years,” she shot back at me. 

But it seemed I wasn’t the only person surprised by her decision. “Leave them?” Cooper looked at the growing pile of bodies.

“There’s no time. The enemy can see us, sound the retreat,” Octavia said firmly.

I made my way over to her, “Retreating now doesn’t mean retreating for good. You made the right call. How’s your arm?” 

“Do you know what you’re doing?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not in the slightest,” I sighed. “This is a combination of shit I learned from Clarke and me making it up as I go.”

“Doesn’t fill me with confidence,” she gave a quiet laugh, “But thank you, for saving my life.”

Bellamy came over and knelt down next to her, “You were right. Wonkru is strong, just like their leader.”

She pulled him in for a hug, “I’m glad you’re alive big brother,” before lowering her voice, “but if you ever speak out against Wonkru again, then you are an enemy of Wonkru. And you are my enemy.” 

I heard the rover before I saw it and recognised the sound immediately, rushing towards the wall and out onto the sand, “Hold your fire! Hold your fire!” I shouted, getting the guards on the perimeter to back down. The door opened and out came Madi, running at me and throwing herself into my arms. I staggered back a little, holding her tight. 

“You okay?” I asked.

“Are _you_ okay?” she countered, her eyes full of concern. 

I nodded, hugging her again as Clarke ran over and wrapped her arms around both of us. She was no longer bleeding from the wound in her side and I sighed in relief, pulling her close. “So everything’s fine,” I whispered, “Apart from the fact that we’re now at war with the Eligius crew, and they are holding Murphy and Raven hostage.”

“Just Raven, we have a friend on the inside and he managed to get Murphy out. That’s how we knew about the missile. But Murphy and Emori are still in the valley— his shock collar is geotagged to the ship so he can’t come any further,” Clarke explained. “But other than that, everything’s fine?”

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I panted, “I know like two medical terms and the rest is foreign territory. They couldn’t send Jackson because of the wounded in Polis, so I’m grasping at straws and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

She smiled, “Good job on holding down the fort, I’ll see if they need any help.” And then her face fell, “Wait, why didn’t they send my mom?” 

I took a deep breath before dropping the news on her. “They took your mom, Clarke. Kane with her. Diyoza has them both. And they went _willingly._ ” 

She blinked, trying to figure out why but coming up with nothing, “I don’t understand…”

“They were already ready to leave, Kane and Abby. Kane was wanted by Octavia for some crime, and he was going to die so they took the offer to save both of them, I’m sorry. She told me to tell you she loves you,” I whispered. 

Echo was last out of the rover and Bellamy ran to her, taking her up into his arms and swinging her around before setting her down and kissing her passionately. I raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t see that coming. Did you know?”

“Funny, in the last few days I’ve been with them, it hasn’t come up,” Clarke said, an eyebrow also raised. She sighed, pushing down the feelings about her mom— never good, but something I couldn’t help from happening— and nodding at me before going towards the wounded.

I ran over to Monty and Harper. “It is good to see you, oh my god.” They laughed, hugging me back just as hard. 

“We missed you,” Monty whispered. “We thought you were dead.”

“Can’t get rid of me that easily,” I winked, messing his now-considerably-shorter hair. He swatted me away, grinning. “I heard we’re at war again,” his face fell. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Who knew negotiating with criminals would backfire? Relax, we’ll sort it out. Something tells me Bellamy will come up with something,” I reassured him. “How are things with you? I can see you two are still very much in love,” I raised my eyebrows suggestively and Harper laughed. 

“And you and Clarke adopted a kid?” She asked, glancing at Madi who was on her way over to us.

“It wouldn’t be the first time one of our lot has done that, I mean if we’re being real here, Bellamy basically adopted all the hundred kids that landed on the ground with us in that dropship when we first got to earth,” I laughed. 

Monty considered it for a second before laughing, “That’s a valid point. Madi seems cool. She’s a nightblood, isn’t she?”

I nodded, “But you can’t tell anyone it’s real nightblood, it might make her a target for Commander if Octavia’s reign goes south, and Clarke and I don’t want that for her. She’s just a kid.”

“A kid who can drive better than you,” he winked and I swatted him in the arm. 

“Hate you,” I muttered, grinning. 

He laughed, “You missed me too much to hate me.” Monty pulled me into another hug and I smiled softly. He was right. 

Madi reached us and smiled at me, tapping me and pointing over to Octavia, “That’s Octavia?”

“It’s her, Skaikripa herself. Although she goes by Blodreina now, the Red Queen,” I told her. 

“She’s so cool,” Madi breathed, causing me to laugh. “Can I go over and talk to her?”

I put an arm around her, “Not right now, Mads. She’s currently recovering from a parasitic worm attack, she’s a little tired. Once we’re back in Polis, then we’ll introduce you. How’s that?”

“Awesome,” she grinned.

  
  



	6. Defectors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why do I feel like you're the parent in this relationship?"
> 
> "Someone's got to keep you in check."

I watched from above. It was raining, which meant that my perch on top of one of the half-collapsed buildings wasn’t exactly easy to get down from, so I waited a little longer. Bellamy and Echo were waiting to talk to Octavia, but I knew it wasn’t going to go well. Just because he trusted Echo… doesn’t mean that Octavia would forgive her. 

Octavia raised her voice, “Wonkru, I banished this murderer from the bunker six years ago. My judgement still stands. She has twenty-four hours. If she’s still here by then, she fights in the arena.” She stalked off and Bellamy ran after her. 

I decided now was as good a time as any to climb down. I approached Echo, pausing almost to rethink my decision, but then deciding against it and tapping her on the shoulder. She spun around quickly, almost ready to fight but I raised my hands in surrender. “Same side.” 

“Force of habit,” she explained, relaxing a little. 

“Look…” I trailed off, trying to find the words. “I know we haven’t exactly _liked_ each other in the past, but you helped keep them alive, and they’re family. So thank you. Plus, they’re family and they trust you, which means… I do too. For now, I’m just saying that, because it is gonna take me a little while to fully trust you, but I don’t hate or distrust you anymore. We’re neutral. Clean slate,” I finished.

She smiled, “I’m glad you’re alive. You and Clarke mean a lot to them.” 

“I didn’t give up hope that you guys were alive, even when it took you a _little_ longer than anticipated to get back,” I laughed. “But it’s nice to see them all again.” My smile dropped, “I’m worried about Raven. She’s still in there.”

“We’ll get her back,” Echo assured me. “I’m not letting her die in there.”

“Glad to see we’re in agreement,” I nodded. “If Bellamy fails to convince Octavia, I’ll help you in any way I can.” 

“Thank you.”

A horn sounded, interrupting our conversation. I looked up to see Diyoza’s ship fly overhead, opening up to drop seven small packages before zooming off again. The panic halted almost as soon as it had started and I walked over to investigate. One of the packages landed, one side of it falling open to reveal items of fresh fruit. I raised an eyebrow, _what the hell was Diyoza playing at?_

“People of Wonkru,” Diyoza’s voice echoed over the loudspeakers, “This is Colonel Diyoza offering you a chance for peace. I know you’ve all suffered, I know you’re hungry, and so many of you are weary of Octavia’s rule, but now you have a choice. Abandon your weapons, leave Wonkru behind, and join us in Shallow Valley. We have plenty of food and shelter for those seeking a better life. When our ship returns tonight, head for the wasteland. Anyone waiting for us outside the ruins will be rescued. But come unarmed. If Octavia attacks our ship, we will retaliate against your city with lethal force. We’re watching everything, always. There is a place in the valley for all of us, so please choose wisely.”

She signed off just as Octavia pulled out her sword and sliced the loudspeakers from the top of the parcel, taking her closest confidantes with her for an underground meeting. Bellamy and Clarke nodded at each other before leaving to go down after her, taking Harper and Monty with them. They seemed to have a plan. 

I looked at the boxes that had been dropped before turning to look at the entrance to Polis, past the guards on the perimeter and towards the wastelands beyond. “You’ve got that look on your face,” Madi observed, and I cursed the fact that her light footfalls always made her arrivals so sudden. “It’s the same look you had before you drew their fire.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I sighed, sitting down on a large piece of concrete and letting her sit down next to me. “I’m just tired.”

“You’re not tired, Alyssa,” she shot me a knowing look, and her facial expression reminded me so much of Bellamy it caught me off guard. “I mean you probably are, but that’s not the point. You want to do something stupid, don’t you?” God, in that moment she even sounded like him too. 

“Alright, you caught me,” I surrendered. “I want to go after Raven.”

“You want to defect?”

“Not properly, but I want to see if I can get her out of there. I know it’s risky, and stupid, and reckless, but every second I leave her there is another second I feel useless,” I complained, not even bothering to worry that I was spilling all my problems to a twelve-year-old. She’s very insightful for her age, and I know she hasn’t learnt it from me. 

I had a feeling she’d say something like “It’s dangerous”, or “You killed some of their people, they wouldn’t believe you”, but instead she surprised me. “They won’t let you go,” she whispered.

“What? Octavia would have to, if I did defect.”

“Not Octavia, Bellamy and the others. I saw it when I told them you and Clarke were still alive, and I saw it when we found Clarke, and when we saw you again. They’re not going to let you go. They did it six years ago, and they’re not going to do it again,” she said knowingly. 

“Dammit, Mads,” I sighed. “You’re right. You always are.”

Madi smiled, “I know.”

“What about you?” I asked, “Would you let me go?”

“If you go back, they’ll kill you.”

“I mean, she killed like five of our people in the incident with the large gun and the fountain, so I’d say we’re even.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt. But I know you don’t want that for Raven,” she shrugged. “Besides, the valley is our home. I don’t want a war, but if you can get it back, then you should.”

I sighed, “Why do I feel like you’re the parent in this relationship?”

“Someone’s got to keep you in check,” she rolled her eyes, laughing. 

I groaned, “Oh god, you’re going to be a teenager soon. Your sense of humour is going to be insufferable.” 

Madi grinned, “So I’ll turn into you?”

Rolling my eyes, I elbowed her lightly as Gaia came over. “Hey Gaia,” I smiled at her. “This is Madi.”

Madi waved, “Nice to meet you.”

“I heard you’d encountered our enemy? Would you mind talking about battle tactics?” Gaia smiled at Madi welcomingly, who gave me a small look before I nodded and let her go. 

“Have fun!” I called after her, “You know where to find me.” 

I stayed sitting on the concrete, racking my brains for any half-formed idea that I could use as a basis for a plan. Madi was right about a lot of things, but one thing in particular was my main problem. I doubted they’d let me leave. Not willingly. Not without a fight. 

Unless they didn’t know.

 _No._ I banished the thought almost as soon as it arrived. _No._ I wouldn’t put them through that again. It wouldn’t be fair. They lived with Raven for six years, there’s no way they’d leave her in there alone. Plus, I have like a million knives hidden in the huts in the valley. I’d be well protected. 

But then there’s the case of the people dead. I killed some of their men. There’s no way Diyoza would let me back. Not willingly. I sighed, maybe this problem has a solution that I can figure out later. As long as I didn’t leave it too late, I’d be alright. 

I walked down to the bunker, following the endless maze of corridors until I found the open door that led me to Bellamy and Monty. Monty was sitting behind a computer, typing furiously while Bellamy paced back and forth on the other side of the table. “Easy, you’ll wear your shoes down,” I laughed. “What’s the stress? You worried about Echo?”

Before he could reply with what I was assuming would be a “yes”, Monty slammed his hand down on the table in frustration. “When we were up there, I could have opened a backdoor from the inside, but we didn’t even know they had a damn camera!”

“Hey, hey, Monty,” Bellamy walked over to him, “Take it easy.” 

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but you’ve got a brilliant brain up there Monty, you’ll figure out a way around it. You always do,” I reassured him, putting a hand on his shoulder gently. 

“Why are we even doing this?” He turned to Bellamy, “So your sister can go to war? What happened to us being the good guys?”

I almost echoed Clarke’s words, _“Maybe there are no good guys.”_

Bellamy beat me to it, saying firmly, “We are.” 

“Really? You’re letting her kill people for defecting. Correction— thinking about defecting,” he snapped. 

“Raven’s a prisoner, Murphy has a shock collar around his neck and is alone in the woods with Emori. This, this is how we get back to them. Come on, just try again,” he put a hand on Monty’s other shoulder for encouragement. 

“I’m telling you,” Monty protested, “I can’t do it from here.”

I paused, “Where can you do it from?”

Echo walked in, her face grave. Bellamy went to her instantly, “What’s the matter? No takers?”

“Oh, no. There were takers,” she replied solemnly. “I’m just not turning them in.” Echo walked closer to him slowly, “Some bad things went on down here, Bellamy. No one will talk about it, not even the ones that want to defect. I can see it in their faces. I’m sorry. I know this means I’ll be banished, but I can’t do it.” 

He reached for her hand, “Then let’s defect with them.” 

My eyebrows shot up, “Are you out of your goddamn mind? Bellamy, Octavia will kill you. It doesn’t matter that you’re her brother, she will shoot you.” 

“You said you can’t do it here, but we could do this if we had inside help, right?” Bellamy suggested. 

Monty nodded, picking up something from the table, “I could put the backdoor code in a thumb drive.”

“Bellamy, Octavia’s not joking when she said defectors will be shot,” Echo warned, echoing my earlier words. 

“Admittedly, not a perfect plan,” he gave her a half-smile. 

I shook my head, “I can’t let you do this. No. I _won’t._ Octavia will kill you.”

_But she’d have a hard time trying to kill me._

~

I walked back to the tent, thinking things over. Bellamy and Echo want to defect, but there’s no way Octavia will let him go. Her maybe, but not him. I let them have their goodbyes, it wasn’t something I felt I could intrude on. They were together for six years… they were their own little family now. When I got back, Clarke was packing a bag and I frowned. Madi turned over from where she was sleeping and did the same. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“We can’t stay here,” Clarke replied, continuing to pack. 

I paused, “Clarke, what aren’t you telling us?”

“Please don’t question me right now, we should have never left that valley,” she answered.

“What’s going on?” I pressed.

“We left because Lyss was in trouble,” Madi said firmly. 

Clarke sighed, “Listen, Niylah knows the truth. About Madi being a true nightblood. And when Octavia finds out—”

“Octavia is your friend,” Madi cut her off. 

“She used to be,” Clarke said quietly, “But six years is a long time. Octavia is not the girl from the stories we told you. Not anymore.”

Madi’s eyes widened, “You think she’ll hurt me?”

“Like hell she will,” I replied decisively. “But we can’t go back to the valley. Defectors will be shot, I can’t risk that happening to you guys.”

“To us? What about you?” Madi pulled a face.

I shrugged, “I’ve been shot before.”

“I’m pretty sure you can’t build up an immunity to bullet wounds,” Madi raised an eyebrow. 

I laughed, “Now is not the time for you to be a smartass.”

“We’re family,” Clarke said firmly. “And family looks out for each other.”

“If we go back, Diyoza will kill Lyss!” Madi hissed. “We can’t.”

“You can’t leave here,” I shut down the plan. “Octavia is having defectors _shot._ I won’t let you.” 

Clarke shook her head, “You can’t leave, Diyoza will kill you.”

“I was planning on leaving anyway!” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself. I froze, unsure of how to follow that. Unsure of how to explain. 

“What?” Clarke blinked, replaying the conversation. “You _what_?”

“Clarke, I—” 

“Outside. Now,” she shot, pulling me out of the tent with her. “What the hell? Why? When were you planning on telling me? Telling _Madi?_ ” 

I ran a hand through my hair, “Madi… already knows. She’s not happy about it, at all, but she knows.”

Clarke began to pace back and forth outside the tent, “And what even are the details of this incredibly suicidal plan of yours?”

“I want to help Raven. Echo’s defecting to get a flash drive inside the camp so that Monty can disable the eye in the sky, and I want to go with her,” I explained. “I didn’t know whether or not to tell you but I guess it’s a little late not to now.”

“Echo doesn’t need your help,” she protested. “Madi and I should be going, not you. It’s too dangerous for you to go, but it’s too dangerous for Madi to stay.”

I sighed, “I know. But we haven’t got many choices.” 

~

The horn sounded and I realised the transport ship was here. It was now or never. I stood up and Clarke did too, bringing Madi with her out of the tent. I watched as Echo said goodbye to Bellamy, waiting for Clarke to go and talk to him before saying goodbye to Madi. 

“You’re really going?” she whispered, hugging me. 

“I have to. I can’t live with myself knowing Raven’s Diyoza’s prisoner, I’m sorry Mads,” I squeezed her tight before pulling away. 

She gave me a half-smile. “You got this. Be careful, don’t die.” I stood up and began to walk away, but she called to me again, “Lyss?”

“Yeah?”

“Knives first,” Madi grinned. 

“Always,” I nodded, giving her a little salute before jogging away towards the gates. 

The ship wasn’t too far away, but it was still a quick run to get to it. We were almost there, so _close._ Then the gunshots began. A sniper on one of the buildings effortlessly picked off some of the defectors, one by one, and I spotted Echo further ahead. Somehow managing to put on a burst of speed, I caught up to her as the girl she was helping received a bullet in the back. 

I put the girl's other arm around my shoulders, ignoring Echo’s surprised look. “Room for one more?” Around us, the defectors were dropping like flies until there were barely six of us out of the original eleven. I helped Echo get the other girl onto the ship and she put pressure on her wound. “What’s her name?” I asked Echo, trying to get the girl to stay awake.

“Karina,” she told me. 

“Okay Karina, focus on—” I was pulled away from the girl before I could continue as one of the Eligius inmates turned me around and searched my pockets. She pulled the MP3 out and I snatched it off her, “Bring that hand near me again and you’ll lose it.”

“You…” she stared accusingly at me. “I recognise you.”

I rolled my eyes, “I’d be surprised if you didn’t. Now back _off._ This girl needs a doctor.” I pointed to Karina as she sagged to the floor, Echo still holding her. 

“Parker, that’s enough!” Diyoza warned the woman who had been taking people’s things. 

“She’s been shot,” Echo said to Kane, and he dropped to the ground next to us to help put pressure on Karina’s wound. 

Diyoza’s eyes strayed along the defectors until she reached me. “ _You_ ,” she spat.

“Bet you weren’t expecting to see me back so soon,” I laughed. 

She nodded to two of the men flanking her and they each grabbed one of my arms. “I appreciate the risk that all of you took to get here,” she addressed the other defectors, “but until we can trust you…” A box popped open, revealing thirteen shock collars. 

I sighed, “How _fun._ ” 

Diyoza nodded to the men again and they snapped a collar around my neck, doing the same with the other defectors. When she walked away, they brought me with them and I sent Echo a half-hearted smile before disappearing around the corner. They took me to the same holding cell I had been in when Bellamy came for me, and the guards stood outside the door as I sat down on the familiar bench. “What’s your angle?” she asked, looking me up and down. “You had to know we’d kill you if you came back.”

“I’d rather take my chances with you than Octavia,” I laughed. “Anyway, you were mad at me for killing some of your men, but more than that amount died after one of your guys used his big gun in Polis, and after the sandstorm missile thing, which you undoubtedly know about, or you wouldn’t have mentioned Octavia when you send down the recorded message. We’re even.”

“I thought you were willing to do anything to protect your family? Where are they now?” 

“Polis,” I answered truthfully. “But they’re not safe. I want to see if you can be trusted, _really_ be trusted, so that maybe at some point they can come home. Like I said, we’re better off with you than Octavia. She’s not the person she was when they closed those bunker doors six years ago.”

Diyoza didn’t seem to trust me, but she seemed to buy my story. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

“A show of good faith,” I replied, taking out all sixteen of the weapons that went undiscovered by the woman— Parker— when she patted me down minutes earlier. I slid them across the floor one at a time until she had fourteen knives and two lockpicks. “I’m a survivor,” I told her. “And right now, that valley is my best chance of surviving.”


	7. Welcome 'Home'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Isn't that what you wanted?"
> 
> "Not like this."

Diyoza led us along the route to the village, and I followed even though I knew it by heart. I had to listen to her words, she was like an inspirational speaker— a murderous one, but an inspirational speaker nonetheless— as she invited us in. 

“Like each of us, somehow this valley survived. It’s the last Sanctuary on Earth, and we are its keepers,” she said warmly. Well, not exactly ‘warmly’ so to say, just ‘less coldly’ than she had spoken before. “To build a life here, we all have responsibilities. You will too.” 

Kane turned around, joining in. “All of us left Polis for a better way, and all of us must do our part to get it.” 

Diyoza took over, “I will be sitting down with each of you to learn your stories. To hear what skills you can bring to the community, how you can be helpful. And to see if you can be trusted. Until you’ve been cleared, your pulse collars have been geotagged to this building. Welcome home.” 

_Home._

It wasn’t home. Not really. It was filled with murderers and thieves and arsonists and… it wasn’t with Clarke and Madi. That was what made it home. The place was never home itself, the fact that it was home was because they were my _family_ and I was here with them. I missed them already. I’d been with Clarke and Madi almost every day up until very recently. Every day for six years. 

On the other hand, I hadn’t seen Raven in six years. Echo had to pretend not to know her at first in an attempt to not draw any attention, but Kane already knew how close I was to her so there was no point in doing the same for me. Her face lit up when she saw us, but as Echo shook her head to keep her cover I launched myself at Raven, pulling her into a hug and holding her tightly. 

“I still can’t believe you’re alive,” she whispered.

“I’m full of surprises,” I hissed back with a grin. 

Once we released each other, the three of us slowly gravitated towards some of the beds on the side and sat down. “Finally,” Raven smiled, “Tell me this is a rescue op.” 

“Sort of,” I explained. 

“It won’t be anything if we can’t get out of this church,” Echo warned, before a small smile spread across her face. “But I’m betting by now my girl’s figured out how to slip her collar?”

Raven shook her head disappointedly and Echo’s face turned dark as her eyes flicked over Raven’s shoulder. “They’re watching us, but there’s something I need you to see. Let’s get some water.”

I looked around. “I’ll stay here. We’re going to need weapons, and I need to figure out which ones I still have and where they are.” 

The two nodded at me and walked over to the water station as I stretched, rubbing my neck where the collar was and remembering what happened last time I was wearing one. There was something slightly wrong about hiding weapons in a church, but since I was an atheist it didn’t bother me that much. 

Third lampshade along to the right. Knife. Fifth vase on the second shelf down by the door. Two knives. 

The door opened and my eyes were drawn towards it as Shaw came in and passed out some sleeping bags. His eyes widened when he saw me, before narrowing in confusion. “What the hell are you doing here?” he hissed.

“Aww, miss me Good Cop? I have that effect on people,” I joked, clearly lying since I have probably never had that effect on anyone in my entire life. 

Raven came over, standing in front of him before he tossed a sleeping bag at me. “Hey, can we talk?” she asked him in a hushed voice, and I realised he was the ‘inside source’ everyone had been talking about. 

“You and me have nothing to discuss,” he answered firmly before walking away.

She shot me a glance, about to say something when Kane came in. 

“I have unfortunate news,” he revealed. “Karina’s dead. She was Louwoda-Klironkru, so the rites will be performed this afternoon. Together we can make sure that her death will not be in vain,” he turned and left, his eyes lingering on me for a moment. 

Shaw tossed Raven a sleeping bag and she caught it, peeling back the edge and hiding her small smile at the note hidden there. It was scrawled quickly, but it was helpful. 

“Don’t go to the funeral.”

~

I watched the funeral from a distance, leaning against the outside wall of the church and keeping an eye out in case anyone else came towards it while Shaw and Raven were meeting. He walked in, pausing and sparing me a glance before he closed the door behind him. “Chillout Good Cop,” I laughed. “I’m not spying or eavesdropping, I’m guarding. Let you two speak in peace.”

“How do I know I can trust you?” He narrowed his eyes at me. 

I rolled my eyes, “You don’t, but I could say the same about you.” 

Shaw nodded and closed the door, disappearing inside the church to talk to Raven. It wasn’t long before he reappeared, refusing to meet my eye and walking into one of the other buildings. I frowned, pushing the door open and meeting Raven inside. She was sitting on one of the beds when I walked in, head in her hands. She looked up as I walked over and shuffled along to make more room for me next to her. “I need more time.” 

“Then Echo and I will manage to buy you some.” 

“You’re right,” Raven nodded. “We got this.” 

At that moment Kane walked in, raising his eyebrows when he saw us talking in hushed whispers. “Alyssa, Diyoza wants to speak with you.” 

“Oh the joys, it’s not every day you get to have a tea party with a murderer,” I laughed, getting to my feet. “She’s geotagged my collar elsewhere, right? I am not getting fried the second I leave this place?”

“To the gazebo, yes,” he gestured to the door and Raven sent a reassuring smile in my direction as I left. Once we were out of the church, he paused, looking at me curiously. “Why are you here, Alyssa?”

I scoffed, “I’m surprised your new best friend Diyoza hasn’t told you. I don’t trust Octavia, and I wanted to see if you were worth trusting. I was willing to risk my life to come here even if Diyoza might kill me, because I think my family deserves to live.” 

Kane started walking again, bringing me towards the gazebo. “Your family… including Raven? Please tell me this isn’t some convoluted rescue mission?”

“If it were a rescue mission, I’d be out of here by now. If it were a rescue mission, I’d have brought backup. If it were a rescue mission, it would be led by _me_ all the way to Polis to rescue everyone else from Octavia. She’s not the person she used to be,” I said firmly, hoping it was enough information to sway him to my side. “Six years is a long time.”

He seemed to understand. “It is,” he nodded gravely as we reached the gazebo, his eyes straying longingly towards the cabin I used to live in with Clarke and Madi, the building now housing the makeshift medical centre with Abby inside. 

“Ah, Alyssa,” Diyoza plastered a smile onto her face. “How nice of you to join us. It took a while, did you take the scenic route?” 

“We were just catching up,” Kane explained, getting me out of trouble. 

Diyoza continued. “You’ve told me why you’re here, and I still don’t trust you— hence the collar— but that’s not all I want to know. How can you be useful here?” 

“Combat. Your guys are good with weapons, but I have trained with Grounders before and I know their fighting techniques if it came down to hand-to-hand or sword combat. If Octavia’s army manages to take out your fancy guns, you’ll need to know that. Close range, without automatic weapons. I can help,” I suggested, glancing at Kane. “He’s seen me fight.” 

He nodded, “Multiple times.”

“And hunting. You may know how to hunt for various animals that are around here, but the best food source is the fish and I know how to spear them. If your army don’t threaten to kill me, I can teach them in small groups.”

She mulled it over. “Food and combat. I’ll consider it, thank you for your time.” 

“Thanks for not killing me,” I laughed.

~

I woke up from the nightmare drenched in sweat and barely able to breathe. Raven was asleep two beds down and I was surprised to notice Echo’s bed was empty. Desperately wanting something reassuring, I reached under my pillow for a knife before realising that I didn’t have one. 

Old habits die hard.

The lights outside were on but it was still dark and I wished that I could go outside and sit on top of the old campervan without getting shocked by the uncomfortable collar around my neck. I reached up tentatively to touch the fresh scars on my neck, only just healing after my last interaction with McCreary. Come to think of it, where _was_ McCreary? Not that I cared for his well being, but if anyone was going to kill that man I’d rather it be me. 

The door swung open and I blinked as a shaft of light fell in the gap between my bed and the empty bed next to me. Two guards came in and woke Raven, hauling her to her feet. I stood up, ready to fight. “What the hell are you doing?” 

“Diyoza wants her. She comes with us.” 

“What does she want with me?” Raven groaned.

One of the men shot her an agitated look, “You’ll have to ask her. When you’re there. Up, move.” 

Raven smiled at me reassuringly and went with them, but that didn’t stop them from shoving her along in a way that made me want to slowly and painfully murder them. 

It was another half hour at least before she returned. This time with Echo. I frowned at the other girl as she came in, “Where the hell were you?”

“With Raven,” she replied. 

“And where the hell was that?”

Raven refused to meet Echo’s eyes, walking straight towards her bed and lying down, facing the other direction. “Turning in the one ally we have in this damn place.”

I reeled back, “You snitched on Shaw? He’s like the one decent person here!”

“I did what I had to do,” Echo hissed. “The stick worked, they now have access to the Eligius systems. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

I shook my head, “Not like this.” 

Echo reached for Raven but she pulled away, finally turning to look at her but with tears in her eyes as she tried to think of what to say. Before Echo could apologise, or at least say anything to help her case, the doors opened again and two of the Eligius inmates hauled a half-conscious Shaw into the room with a shock collar around his neck and threw him into one of the tables. 

Shaw put his hands on the table to pull himself fully upright and that was when everyone in the room saw his face. Beaten and bloody, the Eligius crew had definitely taken a swing or two at him before bringing him in here. Tears fell from Raven’s eyes as he limped past towards the couch at the other end of the room, slowly easing himself into the seat and putting his head in his hands. 

He was probably regretting helping us, and I couldn’t blame him. 

If there was any way to win this war… this wasn’t it.


	8. Picking Fights Is A Crappy Way To Pass The Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's he doing?"
> 
> "He's being John Murphy."

The Eligius inmates had been torturing Shaw for hours using the shock collar. Every time I sent Echo a look she shook her head, silently telling me not to do anything, but when she had to physically restrain Raven I almost had a shot. 

“Raven, it’s not your fight,” she warned. 

“It’s our fault he’s here,” Raven hissed back. 

Echo sighed, “I know you’re angry but you said yourself they can’t kill him. He’s the only person who—” she paused, an idea forming. “We have to kill him.” 

Shaw’s third round of torture ended and he used the wall to push himself to his feet. Raven glanced at him for a second, visibly feeling guilty, before shaking her head at Echo. “No way.” 

“It’s not happening,” I confirmed.

“That ship is their biggest strategic advantage. Without a pilot to fly—” 

Raven cut her off, “I said no.”

“Besides,” I diffused the argument, “They’d still have a pilot. Raven. If Shaw dies and they have to torture her to get that ship off the ground then they will, did you think of that?”

Raven shot Echo a glare and stalked off towards Shaw. He tried to leave the conversation but she stood up, directly blocking his path and whispering something in his ear. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes slowly moving towards Echo and I realised Raven must have warned him. 

When the other inmates descended on him again this time Echo did nothing to stop me as I grabbed a cake fork from the counter and hurled it at the man holding the collar remote. He gasped in pain as the utensil stuck out of his hand, turning and glaring in my direction. 

“ _Bitch,_ ” he snarled aggressively. 

I barely batted an eyelid. “Whoops,” I said blankly, “My hand slipped.”

He moved towards me but another man put a hand out to stop him. “You heard what Diyoza said, we can’t touch them.” 

“That’s the bitch that already killed four of our people, _those_ rules don’t apply,” he pushed past the man who tried to stop him and squared me up. I’ll admit, he was a tad bigger than I was. And by a tad, I mean in terms of while I was a rock, and he was the entire fucking mountain. 

A pulse of current forced me onto my knees as someone turned on the collar around my neck, leaving me gasping and ready for easy pickings while down. No. _“Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim,”_ I panted, spitting out blood from where I’d bitten my tongue. I pulled myself to my feet and swung my fist at the man, landing one decent punch before electricity coursed through my body again and the world faded to black. 

~

I groaned, rubbing the fresh shock burns on my neck as I woke up. “Float me now, that hurt like a _bitch_ ,” I winced. 

Echo laughed, but it was hollow. “That’s pretty close to what the guy with the knife buried in his hand said, right after he punched your lights out.” 

I sat up and locked eyes with Shaw, who kept shooting nervous glances towards the door. I frowned, wondering why, until I realised Raven was nowhere to be seen. “Where the hell is Raven?”

“Some Eligius guy came in and took her to another facility for the day not long after you blacked out. He’s the only one of theirs, other than the pilot, that has to wear a collar. According to him, the guy’s called Vinson and he’s a serial killer,” Echo explained. 

“Fills me with confidence,” I grimaced. “How long was I out?”

She shrugged, “A while.”

Before I had a chance to ask another question, the door opened and two other guards came in, half-dragging, half-carrying Raven. She was slumped forwards, even with an arm supported by each of them and when they let her go she stumbled towards her bed, lying on it sideways with tears in her eyes. I didn’t want to ask what happened, it looked like the wound was too fresh for that. 

I sat down on the gap between her bed and Echo’s as Echo came around behind her and rested a hand on her shoulder. Raven reached up and put her hand on Echo’s as I held her other hand, squeezing it reassuringly. 

Shaw walked over, his face full of worry and concern. Raven nodded at us to leave as he asked, “Hey. Did he hurt you?”

“We’ll be right over there if you need us,” Echo assured her, nodding to me as we both left and moved to sit on the sofas out of earshot. 

I glanced over to Raven as she sobbed, Shaw comforting her. “What the hell happened to her today?” 

“I don’t know,” Echo replied. “But it wasn’t that Vinson guy. This pain is deeper than that. I wish I knew who caused it, I’d kill them if I did.”

I sighed, “Not if I beat you to it.”

The door swung open for the second time this hour, and two familiar faces waltzed in. I shot to my feet, ignoring the wave of dizziness that threatened me thanks to my not-so-pleasant run-in with the inmate from earlier and threw myself at my friend in a hug. 

“Hey stranger,” Murphy laughed, squeezing me tightly. “You look like shit, by the way.”

I grinned as I rolled my eyes, relieved to finally see him in person, even though the circumstances weren’t optimal. “Asshole. So do you.”

~

Raven, Murphy, Echo, Emori and I sat in what was supposed to be a circle on the beds, trying to form a plan while ignoring the almost constant coughing coming from one of the Eligius inmates. 

Echo glanced over at the sick man, “I still can’t believe you helped cure them.” 

“Take it easy,” Murphy cautioned, “That guy look cured to you? Maybe it didn’t work.” 

Emori sighed, “It worked. _She_ built it.” 

“Exactly. A war’s coming and yet she passes up every opportunity we get to weaken the enemy,” Echo said matter-of-factly. 

“What is your problem?” Raven snapped, turning to her angrily. 

Murphy warned, “Quiet. We’re still on the same team, right?” He looked at both of them and raised an eyebrow, “Right?” They both nodded. “Good. Then we’re agreed. We kill the pilot, then we pop off these collars and run like hell.”

“I don’t condone this plan,” I hissed, chancing a look at Shaw who was hunched over a table in the corner of the room. 

Murphy frowned, “I thought you condoned murder?”

“Of course I condone murder, I’ve murdered people before! Just not him. He’s not innocent, none of us are. But he’s a genuine guy,” I shrugged. 

Raven paused, “If we can slip the collars we don’t have to kill him.” She ignored the cautious look thrown at her by Echo and continued explaining, “Besides, he’s more valuable alive. As a spy, you should know that.”

“What I know,” Echo pointed out, “Is that a dead man can’t fly a ship or fire missiles at the people we love.” 

Emori leaned in, “Valuable how?”

“Intel. We need a distraction to escape, right?” Raven suggested, raising her eyebrows knowingly. 

I began to open my mouth but Murphy cut me off before I could make any suggestions. “A distraction that doesn’t involve killing anyone. Not personally, anyway.” 

“Okay first of all, you’re just like Bellamy— I’ve had this exact same conversation with him at least once before. Second of all, I stand by the fact that killing everyone is a pretty damn good distraction! I have to say, being dead is pretty distracting,” I tried to plead my case, ignoring the eye rolls from the other four. 

Raven continued, “According to Shaw, this place is a civil war waiting to happen. McCreary’s people hate following Diyoza. They only did it in space to survive, but up until then, McCreary was the alpha dog.”

“Shaw told you all this?” Murphy raised an eyebrow.

“You want to weaken the enemy, what’s weaker than an enemy at war with itself?” She smiled. 

“It’s not that easy,” Echo warned. “War has a war of healing internal divisions.” 

Murphy stood up and I ignored the others, watching him as he walked over to one of McCreary’s men. 

Echo noticed, “What’s he doing?”

I laughed, “He’s being John Murphy.” 

“The tattoo,” Emori recognised the tattoo on the side of the man’s face. A cross. “He’s with McCreary. Everyone else in here is with Diyoza.”

Murphy made his way back, sitting down with a smug smile on his face as the man he had been speaking to got to his feet and walked towards the two guards at the door. Within moments, the two of them were in a violent fist-fight. “I agree with Raven,” he smirked. “Should be fun.”


	9. Civil War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So... how many knives do you have hidden in this room?"
> 
> "...Several."
> 
> "Knew it."

Once again I found myself waking up in a cold sweat. I sat up and put my head in my hands as I groaned quietly, careful not to wake up the others. The dream is simple. Almost the same every time. It starts off in the forest where the jobi nut incident took place, fighting with my father as he tells me things about myself that I already know. But instead of taking me to the Ark after he says “People die when you’re around,” to witness my mother’s death or my first murder, I’m transported to different and warped versions of reality where the people I love die. 

Tonight involved my _personal_ favourite: Madi dying at the hand of McCreary.

Each time, I either watch it happen submissively, fight back and lose, or it’s my fault in the process. 

It never ends. 

“Quit with the torture already,” I muttered to myself. “If you want to kill me just get it over with. If not, let me get some goddamn sleep.” I began to knock the heel of my hand against my forehead repeatedly, hoping that a slight headache might chase away the thoughts. 

“Rough night?”

I looked up to see Murphy looking over at me from the neighbouring bed. I didn’t remember him claiming it as his own, but I realised that the previous owner had seemed to gravitate towards the couch instead once he arrived. 

“Something like that,” I sighed. “What about you?”

He shrugged, “Going over various plans for tomorrow. You got a headache?” 

“Not yet, but soon hopefully.”

Murphy laughed quietly, “Lyss, you are the _only_ person I know who would ever try and induce a headache. Why would you possibly want to?”

“You’re right,” I rolled my eyes, “I should just talk to you instead. That _always_ gives me a headache.” 

“You wound me, Lyss. You really do,” he whispered in mock hurt and I laughed, smiling a little. Murphy stood up and switched beds, sitting down sideways next to me with his legs off the side. “Seriously though, what’s up?”

I turned around so I was sitting in the same way, leaning my head on his shoulder. “Every now and then my brain decides to shout “Screw you! I do what I want! And punish me for all the shit I’ve ever done by making me watch various scenarios in which everyone I love is brutally murdered before my very eyes.” 

“Shit,” he replied, blinking.

“You have such a way with words, Murphy,” I scoffed. 

He sighed, “Sorry, that’s probably not helpful.” 

“You’re right though, it is really shitty. It’s like, there’s this one phrase that’s stuck in my head on an endless loop and I’m forced to hear it before I watch someone die. _People die when you’re around._ My father said it first, but it wasn’t even him, it was some goddamn hallucination caused by my own brain after eating out of season jobi nuts back after we first landed,” I explained. 

Murphy paused, “It’s not wrong— people do die when you’re around, but only bad people, so that’s a good thing.” 

I laughed bitterly, “It doesn’t feel like such a good thing. Every time I have to remind myself that it was a bad person, that it was for survival, that it was to protect my family… but I can’t help but listen to my father’s voice in the back of my head telling me ‘it’s a justification of my own selfishness’ and ‘I did it because I could’. Telling me I’m a monster.” 

“You’re not a monster, Lyss,” he tried to reassure me and failed, changing the subject. “What do you see? In the nightmares I mean— unless you don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Lots of different deaths. Some involve Clarke dying in Praimfaya, or maybe it’s Jasper killing himself, or Bellamy dangling upside down for the Mount Weather blood treatment. Once I came across Monty dying from radiation exposure after he took his gloves off to get the oxygen generator. I’ve seen Raven’s lifeless body on the operating table in Mount Weather after bone marrow extraction, you with the rope around your neck, Miller with an arrow through his heart, Bellamy dying in the black rain, Octavia losing the conclave, opening the bunker to find it wasn’t sealed properly and everyone inside was dead, Diyoza finding Clarke or Madi instead of me, Bellamy being shot by Pike instead of Lincoln… the list goes on. Tonight, I watched Madi get stabbed by Octavia,” I finished. “There was also one recurring one from about a year ago that had you all dying in space, which I refused to let explain why you guys didn’t come back when you were supposed to.”

Murphy was silent for a minute, and then “We shouldn’t have left you.” 

I nudged him with my arm. “It was my idea, remember?” 

“Still, you had faith in the nightblood solution and it worked. We all could’ve stayed down here together,” he pressed.

“Actually,” I admitted. “I didn’t.”

He frowned, “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t have any faith in the nightblood solution. At all. I thought I was going to die.” I shrugged nonchalantly. Murphy punched me in the arm lightly and I squeaked. “What the hell was that for?”

“For thinking you can die on us!” He swatted me again and moved so that he was lying against the small headboard. “Sometimes I really wonder where your head is at.” 

I rolled my eyes, “Murphy, what are you doing?” 

“Your bed is way comfier than mine, this isn’t fair,” he complained mildly. 

I raised an eyebrow, “There isn’t enough room for two people on here.”

“Beat it, Lyss, I’m comfy.”

“Fat chance,” I laughed, “Scooch over.” 

He complied and I lay down next to him, laughing as we both almost fell off the sides. I rested my head on his outstretched arm and tried to ignore the collar around my neck as I tried to get comfortable. “So,” he smiled, “How many knives do you have hidden in this room?” 

“...Several.” 

“Knew it.”

~

Later the next day, Murphy waltzed into the church with possibly the largest shit-eating grin on his face that I had ever seen. Emori rolled her eyes as he sat down at the table, “God, your poker face sucks.” 

He leant in, his grin getting even wider, “Listen. Diyoza didn’t tell McCreary about the cure. I just did. Bad things are about to happen here.” 

Echo nodded in approval, “Nice work, Murphy. I’ll tell Diyoza so her side is ready. As soon as the fighting starts, go to work on the collars.” She began to walk away before pausing and shooting a glance in Shaw’s direction at the other end of the room, “The pilot’s too.”

I watched as Raven went over to fill him in on the plan. “I ship it. I could see those two together.”

Murphy nodded, “Such clear sexual tension. Why hasn’t it happened already?”

Emori raised an eyebrow, “It isn’t exactly ideal circumstances.”

“That hasn’t stopped us before,” Murphy winked at her. 

I pulled a face, “I really don’t need to hear about your sex life, guys.” 

Echo must have contacted Diyoza pretty quickly because at that moment one of the guards’ walkies crackled into action and all of Diyoza’s men ran out of the church in a hurry. I turned to Emori as she sat down next to Murphy, prying open the control panel on his collar with ease, “Start with this panel, slowly or—”

“Sorry in advance,” Raven warned Shaw and he grunted in pain as she hit the wrong wire and sent a few volts into him. 

It wasn’t long before Murphy’s collar was off and Emori had moved onto mine, shutting it down easily as Raven finished Shaw’s and he finished hers. Once Raven had shut down Emori’s, Echo walked in. 

“What’s going on out there?” I asked, rubbing my neck and thankful to now be collarless. 

“Diyoza’s diffusing the army with the truth. I have to hand it to her, she’s good,” Echo explained. 

Murphy sighed and sneaked out the back door, I watched from the window as he crept up on the crowd and picked up a large rock. _What the hell is he doing?_ He tossed the rock into the crowd and it hit someone on the head. The person it hit open fired on McCreary’s army and all hell broke loose as Murphy returned inside. “Let’s go people, I did my part.” 

“Just one more wire… got it,” Emori finished Echo’s collar and pulled it off. 

“Right, everyone knows where the meeting point is. If anyone gets split up, go there. We’ll come find you and bring you to the cave,” she announced. 

At that point, Kane decided to come in. “Good, you’re all here. We need to get Abby and Diyoza and go straight to the transport ship. The other defectors are there already.” 

“Abby will be fine, they won’t hurt their doctor,” Echo assured him. “And whatever happens to Diyoza is not our concern. Everybody move out!”

Kane turned around as she walked past him. “Is peace your concern? Bellamy and Clarke negotiated a surrender. I’ve been working on a settlement for everyone in the south woods. Without Diyoza, that all goes away.” 

“Whoops,” Murphy whistled. 

Shaw sighed, “I’ll go with you.”

“No way,” Echo shook her head. “Octavia would never surrender. We leave as planned.” Shaw moved away from her and she narrowed her eyes at him. “Raven, take him and go right now or I slit his throat.” 

“Stop talking and do it already,” he goaded her. 

Raven stepped in before things could get out of hand. “Shaw, let’s go. Let’s go.” 

“I’m going with Kane,” Murphy announced with a sigh. 

Emori groaned, “John, not again.”

“It’s Abby,” he told her. “I have to.” 

She let out a breath and left, leaving just Murphy, Kane and I in the church. Kane raised an eyebrow at me, but didn’t say anything. 

“What? You think I’d let you go alone and unarmed in the middle of a civil war?” I walked over to the vase and smashed it, claiming the knife inside before making my way over to one of the lights where there was another. “There’s more in medical. Let’s move. If we go around the back I doubt we’ll be seen, there’s too much chaos and one of the lights doesn’t work.” 

Murphy grinned, “Helps to have someone who knows the terrain.”

“I’m running on ahead and coming in through the back. If Diyoza’s already on her way to Abby, that’s the way she’ll come out.” I jogged on ahead, only pausing briefly to give the others each a knife. “We got this.” 

I kicked open the door and grabbed a knife from under the counter, throwing it at an assailant as they tried to choke Diyoza. McCreary had to have already sent someone to grab Abby and she was nowhere in sight. “Surprise fuckers, you’re about to wish you killed me,” I knocked over a table and pulled out the gun strapped beneath it. 

Diyoza was taking on three guys at once and she pushed one through a window as McCreary tried to choke her. “You kill me,” she whispered. “And you kill your unborn child.” She used his hesitation to stab him in the neck with a piece of broken glass. “It’s a girl, by the way.” 

She knocked him out before groaning in pain and I realised she’d been shot. Someone came up behind her and pulled a gun but I shot him between the eyes before he had a chance to tighten his finger around the trigger. Diyoza looked up and finally noticed me, “Hi?”

I looked at McCreary’s unconscious form on the ground. “So. Fucking. Badass.”

Kane and Murphy burst in behind me, “Where’s Abby?”

“They already took her,” Diyoza explained. “But she’ll be okay.”

“There’s more coming,” Murphy warned. “We need to go.” 

Kane put an arm over Diyoza and led her out of the building with Murphy and I close behind. “What now?” I asked.

“Now… things are going to get a lot more screwy than they already were.”

“Lovely.”


	10. The Battle Is Coming, But The War Is Far From Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bellamy, where the hell is Madi?"
> 
> "With Clarke."
> 
> "And where the hell is Clarke?"
> 
> "With them."

“What’s going on? What do we do now?” I groaned. If there was one thing I hate more than anything else, it’s being left in the dark. “Does anyone know what’s going on in Polis? We got the eye down, so it’d take them a week to get here, right? Faster if Bellamy took the rover.” The cave was dark except for the flickering light of the small fire as Raven tried to fix what might have at some point been a radio. 

“We wait, and then we fight,” Murphy rolled his eyes. “You’re too impatient.”

I laughed, “I have to be. It speeds up the process.”

Shaw looked at Raven in awe, and I couldn’t help but smile. Those two should get together already, it’s very obvious. “Is there anything you can’t fix?” he asked her. 

Raven smiled, but her eyes flicked towards Murphy. “Except my leg, nothing.” 

Murphy looked down, “I mean, it did take her six years to get us back down to the ground.” 

“Yet, here we are,” she looked around with a grin before turning her attention back to Shaw and the radio. “He hates when I’m that good.” 

“Careful,” Murphy warned, rolling his eyes and smiling. “Cave’s not big enough to fit your head.”

She laughed, “See?” 

“Okay, well then what about Eligius three?” he smirked. 

I frowned, “What’s Eligius three?” 

Raven explained, “When we were on the mothership I hacked the Eligius files. I just couldn’t crack that _one._ ” 

Emori came back in, “Alright, we’re all set. Antenna’s aimed at Polis. When you’re ready, fire it up.” 

“It’s not connected yet,” Raven announced. 

“So connect it,” Echo walked in with a nervous look on her face. 

I shot her a look, “What’s wrong? You get spotted?”

“Worse,” she sighed. “They’re not looking for us anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Diyoza asked, slowly getting to her feet. 

Echo smirked, “Okay, you wanna be useful? What does it mean that from the antenna position, we saw your people moving weapons and supplies to the northern perimeter?” 

“If McCreary’s moving his troops north, then Wonkru’s on the march again,” she explained. 

I cursed, “How?”

“So much for blinding the eye,” Murphy’s voice was laced with sarcasm. 

“Quiet, Murphy,” Echo warned, sending a glance in Diyoza’s direction. 

I shrugged, “I think it’s pretty damn obvious what happened. Besides, Diyoza’s against McCreary and I’m pretty sure most if not all of her men are already dead. She’s on our side now, whether she likes it or not.” 

Kane leaned forwards, “We can’t be helpful unless we know all the facts.” 

“The facts are I got played,” Diyoza told him. “They hacked the eye in the sky. I’m impressed.”

“Don’t be,” Echo said with a hint of annoyance. “If McCreary knows they’re coming, then we’ve failed. Without the element of surprise, it’ll be a massacre.” 

“Then we have to get word to them before it’s too late,” I resolved. “We have to tell them to go back.” 

Raven nodded, “Let’s get this thing on top.” She began to continue her work on the radio. 

Once it was finished, I picked up the handset and began to speak in Trig so that if McCreary’s men were listening, they wouldn’t know what we were saying. _“Bellamy, come in if you can hear me.”_

He replied almost instantly. _“First of all, why are we speaking Trig? What’s wrong? Second, where the hell have you been?”_

“Fuck,” I whispered, without turning the radio on. “I assumed either Madi or Clarke would have explained. I’m due either a lecture or an argument on personal safety now.” I turned the radio on and replied to him. _“One, they know you’re coming. You haven’t got the element of surprise and they know the eye is down. Two isn’t important.”_

“Lyss,” he started, but he was cut off by Harper. 

“Bellamy, if Clarke’s on their side she speaks Trig too,” she warned. 

I froze, “What the fuck do you mean Clarke’s on their side? Where’s Madi? What the hell have I missed?”

“Stay on task,” Echo warned. 

“Clarke’s on their side?” Murphy shot me a worried look. “What does that mean?”

“It means we have to make this fast,” Echo decided, taking the radio from me. _“Bellamy, you have to go back. We have their pilot, so you’re safe for now. But you can’t come here.”_

 _“Not possible, Echo,”_ he revealed. _“It’s a long story, but we can’t go back… and we can’t stop. We’re five days out. You have that long to find us a safe way in. After that, we run out of rations.”_

My hands shook as I tried to think of what could’ve happened, I snatched the radio back. “Bellamy, where the hell is Madi?” 

“With Clarke.” 

“And where the hell is Clarke?” I whispered.

“With them.” 

I thrust the radio back into Echo’s hands and walked towards the exit of the cave. “Clarke and McCreary? It makes no sense. Why would she go to them? What could have possibly been going through her mind? Why the fuck—” 

Murphy grabbed my arm, pulling me back inside. “This isn’t one of those ‘Lyss walks into a dangerous suicidal situation’ situations, is it?” 

“Of course not,” I replied, “This is a ‘Lyss is about to tear Clarke a new one’ situations. She just sentenced everyone in that army to death. Including our family. I’ll be damned if I don’t find out what the hell is going on!” 

“Right now, Clarke being Clarke isn’t our top priority. Do you want to help Bellamy or not?” Murphy had a point. It was annoying, but he had a point. “Listen to Echo for now, we help our friends, then we come for Clarke and Madi.”

I sighed, “I just wish I knew what was going on. Why she would do that—” 

“I know. But for now, Clarke can take care of herself which means Madi is safe, right? You know who isn’t safe? Bellamy and the others. We need to get to them first,” he said firmly. 

“You’re right. You’re right. Bigger fish to fry. Larger problems. Shit to do, people to murder. Let’s do this,” I nodded.

“Damn right let’s do this,” he smirked. 

I glanced at Shaw and Raven. “What do you think? They’ll get together before or after the war?”

“After the war, for sure. There’ll be an almost dying scenario and they won’t be able to keep their hands off each other,” he laughed. 

“I bet my pack of cards—” I pulled the old and worn box out of my inside jacket pocket— “That it happens just before, in case they never see each other again or something.” 

Murphy nodded, “I’ll take that action, you’re on Lyss.” 

~

I led the way as we sneaked along the treeline, keeping low and close to the snow to not be detected, even though it was freezing. Echo raised her binoculars, “Pillbox. Gunner position. They’re building them on both sides of the ravine.”

Raven glanced at her, “You don’t have to be a spy to know this isn’t the best way in. It’s too high up, it’s too freaking cold, and they’ll see them coming for miles.”

“Come on,” Echo made to leave. “Let’s go.”

Murphy grabbed her, “Hold on, not so fast.” “

“Murphy, we’re scouting, _not_ stealing,” she warned. 

He scoffed, “Easy for you to say, you already have a gun.” Murphy raised the scope to look over and grinned. “Well, hello beautiful. Guns. Look.” He handed it to her. 

“The box next to it is ammunition,” Echo noticed. 

“Well, I mean, they can’t shoot us with what they don’t have,” he grinned. 

She sighed, “Follow me.” 

“Wait—” I paused. “They have these big-ass guns that shoot sound waves or something. If they aim one at you you need to get the fuck out of there or we’ll be scraping you out of the snow, got it?” 

“Cheery,” Raven laughed nervously. 

We moved slowly along to the break in the trees, making our way towards their artillery. Murphy jogged on ahead and picked up an automatic rifle, only to spin around at the sound of another man cocking a gun behind his head. One of McCreary’s men. 

Echo raised her gun at the man, “Drop it. Right now.” 

Murphy laid his newly-acquired gun back down. “Look, you shoot me, she shoots you.”

The man smirked, “I’ve got a better idea.” I heard the all-too-familiar sound of the sonic gun whirring up behind us. “She drops her weapon, or I turn your pretty friends into pink mist.”

Echo took her finger off the trigger and tossed the pistol to the ground. Mine was still inside my jacket but I wouldn’t be fast enough to reach it and shoot the guys with the guns before any of them could pull the trigger and kill us or Murphy. 

“Radio McCreary,” the guy in charge ordered. “Tell him we got the guys who took Shaw.”

Shaw chose that point to emerge from the treeline, with a half-formed plan that was either ingenious or highly stupid. “That would be a big win,” he smiled, raising his hands in surrender.

“Shaw, what the hell are you doing?” Raven called out in concern. 

“I’ll tell you what,” Shaw took a step forward. “Let them go, take me, McCreary gets his pilot, fires his missiles, you guys get to be heroes.” 

The moment they lowered the guns that were pointed at him, Shaw burst into action and I was more than a little impressed. He grabbed one of the men’s wrists, swinging over him and kicking the big gun out of the way. 

During the commotion, I pulled out a knife and threw it straight at the man still holding a gun at Murphy. He let out a short laugh in relief and I shrugged, “Knives first. Someone would’ve heard the gunshot.” 

The rest of us loaded up after Shaw had finished taking down the other two guys. We picked up as much ammo and guns as we could carry. Emori grabbed the large gun, grinning, “Hey John, you still want a gun?”

He turned around and saw it and his face broke into a large grin. “Oh, _hell_ yeah.” 

I laughed, “For once I’m jealous of your weapon.”

“I better savour this moment then,” Murphy winked. 

I rolled my eyes, “Sure, but I’m calling dibs on the other big gun when we find it.” 

~

“Everybody ammo up,” Shaw announced, walking around and handing out more guns. I would’ve preferred to have more knives, but apparently a trip down to the village to my various secret stashes of them was a ‘risk’ and a ‘threat to my safety’, so I wasn’t allowed. “Once the shooting starts it’ll take ten minutes for McCreary’s reinforcements to arrive, so don’t use all your bullets before then.” 

I watched Murphy as he tried to figure out his new gun without actually testing it. I laughed, “You don’t have any idea how it works, do you?”

“Of course I do,” he scowled at me. “I’m just waiting for a big dramatic moment to reveal it, like something you’d do.” 

“You’ve got to have missed my flair for the dramatics while up in space,” I grinned.

“It would’ve livened things up, that’s for sure,” Emori laughed. 

I glanced over at Shaw as he walked over to Raven, nudging Murphy. “It’s happening.” 

“It’s not happening.” 

“It’s happening, right now.” 

He rolled his eyes, “They’re not about to— _damn it._ ” 

Raven grabbed Shaw by the collar and pulled him in for a kiss. I smirked, hedging my bets on whether or not a shout of “get a room!” would end up with something getting thrown at me. The two of them broke apart for a moment, deep in conversation before this time Shaw initiated the kiss. 

“I told you,” I grinned. “I know these things.” 

Murphy rolled his eyes again, “Yeah right, you’re probably the most oblivious person I know when it comes to this stuff.” 

I scowled at him, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Oh, nothing…” he trailed off with a grin. “Nothing at all.”


	11. It Always Ends In War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Something's wrong..."
> 
> "We've been fucking played! They're walking into an ambush."

We opened fire on the two pillboxes, using our distraction to draw them out and towards us so that the army could come in through the other entrance. We continued to draw their fire using our machine guns while Murphy continued to figure out how to use the large gun that he had recently acquired. 

“Damn it, Murphy. You finally got a gun, use it!” I prompted him. 

“I’m going as fast as I can!” He shot back, muttering to the gun. “Come on.” Murphy stepped out into the clearing as he finally got the gun working. “Say hello to my little friend!” The gun sent out a blast that tore through the snow and sent Murphy into the air, coming back down flat on his back with a groan. “Wow, she’s got a kick.” 

“John!” Emori called him worriedly. 

The gun began to pulse, all of its lights flashing madly as Raven made her way over, “What the hell did you do?” she asked him as he pulled himself upright. 

“He cracked the core!” Shaw explained, “We gotta run!”

The whirring became more and more frantic as the weapon became increasingly more unstable. Raven pried open the panel and checked all of the various wires before pulling out the largest one there was and bringing the weapon completely offline. She smirked, “I don’t run.”

Echo looked up, ceasing fire. “They’ve stopped shooting back.”

Something was wrong.

“Where the hell are they?” I asked, looking around. 

Shaw raised his scope, “No movement in the pillboxes.”

“No reinforcements yet, either,” Raven noticed. 

“Something’s wrong…” Echo trailed off. 

I swore, “We’ve been fucking played! They’re walking into an ambush.” 

The area had been left unguarded and I marched towards the nearest pillbox, kicking the door open. Someone had left a radio there and the channel was open so that everyone could hear the gunshots and bloodshed. 

“We have to go. We have to get to them.”

I didn’t know who had said it, but they were right. “We need to go in.”

“It’s a massacre,” Echo grabbed my arm. “The gunshots have stopped, which means either everyone is already dead, or they’ve retreated. Let’s radio Bellamy and find out which.” 

~

We got back to the radio antenna and called Bellamy, but Monty picked up instead, answering in english. 

“Trig, Monty,” Echo prompted. “Put Bellamy on.” 

“I thought the signal was safe,” he panted. “What the hell happened?”

Raven grimaced, “It was Diyoza. The bitch betrayed us.”

“We don’t know that,” Shaw warned. 

I rolled my eyes, pacing back and forth across the cave. “Yes, we do. Her and Kane did it to save their own asses. Kane probably because Octavia would kill him, and Diyoza to protect her future daughter! I see why, but that doesn’t make it any less shitty.” 

“Her and Kane betrayed us…” Murphy shook his head in disgust.

Echo cut us all off, “Everyone be quiet! Monty, where the hell is Bellamy?” 

“He’s missing, but there’s still sparse gunfire in the gorge,” he answered. “It’s not over yet.”

I pulled the radio I’d taken from the pillbox back out and turned it back on, it was quiet, but then two gunshots rang out, and then silence again. “It’s not over until I get there,” I snapped, standing upright and grabbing a gun. 

“If you don’t figure something out fast, three hundred people are gonna die out here,” Monty warned. 

Echo snapped back, “If there are three hundred of you, then attack! You have the numbers.”

“That’s not an option. There’s only a handful of people willing to go back in. They’re at each other's throats. Nobody’s in charge. Some of them want to follow Octavia and either can’t or _won’t_ , others are still waiting for a Commander to show up,” he explained. 

“Echo, if the enemy is listening—” Raven cut her off but I grabbed the radio from Echo anyway. 

“What do you mean they’re waiting for a Commander?”

“They put the flame in Madi, but Clarke left with her before anything could happen.”

I felt time slide out from under me and I barely registered the fact that I was leaning against the cave wall, the only thing keeping me upright. _They put the flame in Madi. They put the flame in Madi._ “Why would Gaia put the flame in Madi? She wouldn’t betray Octavia like that, not willingly. Who could’ve done it?” 

I wasn’t holding the radio any longer so Raven repeated my words into the handset for Monty to hear. His reply was simple. “Bellamy, Gaia and Indra.”

“Son of a—” I mustered all of my strength and clenched my fists so hard my knuckles went white and my hands started shaking. Murphy pressed a firm hand on my shoulder and forced me to sit back down. 

“No,” he warned. “Don’t.”

“We understand,” Echo spoke slowly into the radio. “We’ll figure something out. Radio silence until then. Is that clear?” 

“Copy.” 

“What about air support, then. Transport ship’s got missiles, right? If we can get on board, take control—” Murphy suggested. 

Raven glared at him. “No way. The one thing McCreary doesn’t have is a pilot, and you want to walk one through the front door?” 

I laughed, “Besides that, shooting missiles into the only survivable land on the whole damn planet it even more stupid than me walking out there and stabbing McCreary to within an inch of his life right now.” 

“Raven and Alyssa are right, it’s too risky,” Echo confirmed.

Shaw shook his head, “I agree with Murphy. If we can’t get in through the gorge then this thing is over, and they die in the wasteland.”

“What about the rover?” My brow furrowed. 

“What _about_ the rover?” Echo raised an eyebrow. 

I smiled, “It has a big-ass gun on it, it can fit people with more guns inside, and we can drive it in and avoid fire for a bit while we haul their sorry asses out of there. Also let it be known Bellamy’s face is going to meet the palm of my hand harshly and quickly at some point during that rescue. I’ll help, but I’m very much pissed about how shit when down after I left.”

“Well then maybe you shouldn’t have left,” Echo snapped. 

“If she hadn’t left, Lyss would either be dead in Polis, dying in a wasteland, or dying in a gorge right about now. I, for one, am glad she’s here,” Murphy raised an eyebrow.

“They need a leader, so let’s go get them one. Raven, Shaw, you’re with me. Alyssa, you can come too if you’re not going to murder Clarke for betraying us and high-tailing it out of Polis with Madi,” Echo decided.

I rolled my eyes, “I won’t murder Clarke. She’s family. There will just be a lot of shouting and screaming. I don’t condone this plan at all though, Madi isn’t a Commander.” 

“She has the damn flame in her head, I’d say she’s qualified,” she shot back. 

“She’s _twelve_ ,” I snapped. “She’s a kid.”

Echo shot me a look, “Are you coming or not?”

“You bet your ass I’m coming,” I glared at her, following them out of the cave.

~

We got into the village unnoticed and Echo covered Madi’s mouth so that she wouldn’t scream when she woke up. _“Are you the true Commander?”_ she hissed in Trig, ignoring Madi’s muffled replies. “Then get ready to prove it.” 

“Easy,” I grabbed Echo’s arm. “Let her go.” My eyes trailed over Madi for any injuries and paused on the shock collar around her neck. “Who did this to you?” I growled, resolving to murder them slowly. 

“Clarke,” she breathed quietly. 

I was taken aback, but somehow it didn’t surprise me. I wasn’t sure exactly but I knew she would go to great lengths to protect Madi. I wrapped the small girl in my arms and breathed a small sigh of relief, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“You too, I was worried Diyoza could have killed you,” she whispered, clutching me tightly. 

“I love the reunion, but we don’t have much time,” Echo hissed. 

“We’re not here to hurt you,” Raven told her. 

Madi peeled herself away from me and looked at the others. “I know why you’re here. You think Wonkru will follow me into that gorge.” She turned to me briefly, “Are you okay with this?”

“I’m here to support you. If you say no, then that’s fine with me. If this is what you want, then I will be there every step of the way to make sure nothing bad happens to you,” I whispered in what I hoped was a reassuring way. 

“What are you waiting for?” Madi asked firmly. “Take off the collar before Clarke gets back.” 

Echo whistled, “Safe to say she’s not up for mother of the year.”

Raven began to get to work but I frowned, “What exactly happened after I left?” 

“I told Octavia about my true nightblood. Then I had training. Then she made me her second. Then something happened and Clarke got locked up, and Octavia got sick so Indra tried to take over and peacekeep but it didn’t work. To save Clarke I ascended… but she wasn’t happy about it so we had to leave in the rover… with Bellamy, Gaia and Indra arrested and thrown into the fighting pits,” Madi summarised it quickly. She turned around to Raven, “You know it’s nice to finally meet you.”

I laughed, “She knows all about you and the others.” 

“Thanks, but mind talking to somebody else, kid? I’d like your head not to explode,” Raven smiled. 

The door opened and Clarke walked in, a gun raised and pointed at Raven. I stood up but refused to draw my own gun, putting myself in the way. “Hey Clarke,” I raised my hands. “We’re not here for you.” 

“Get the hell away from her,” she warned. 

Raven laughed, “Haven’t seen you in six years, and this is how you say hello?”

“Clarke,” Madi stood up. “Put down the gun. These are your friends.”

“Quiet, Madi. _Now_ , Raven,” she said firmly. “Back away. You too, weapons down.” Clarke nodded at Shaw. 

Echo paused before announcing, “Do as she says.” 

Clarke moved forwards to get Madi but I stood in the way. “What the hell were you thinking? All of it? You betrayed everyone in Polis, and now they’re all going to die. I can’t let you have Madi.” 

“She’s just a child,” Clarke narrowed her eyes at me. 

Madi sighed, “ _She_ is also right here.” 

“Mads can make her own decisions. If she says this is what she wants to do, then you have to let her go,” I pleaded.

“I am not letting her go out on that battlefield to die.”

“You really think I would let that happen? That I would let anything happen to her?” I laughed in disbelief. “We’re family.”

Clarke stood her ground. “I won’t let my family walk into a war they can’t win.”

I took a step forward, “Family don’t hold each other at gunpoint.” 

Madi edged out from behind me and raised her hands, nodding to me. “It’s okay.” She let Clarke grab her hand, pulling her back behind the gun which she continued to aim at the rest of us. She looked up at Clarke, sighing. “I’m sorry Clarke,” she whispered as she knocked the gun out of her hand. 

I charged at her, knocking both of us over a nearby table with the force of the impact. Clarke threw me off of her and I tried to land a punch to keep her out of the way while Raven worked on the collar but she planted a kick in my chest and I stumbled backwards. Without many options I lunged at her and rolled us both over, tumbling across the church floor. Clarke tried to punch me but I got an arm around her neck and held her in a choke hold, tears welling in my eyes. _Please go to sleep. Please go to sleep._ “I’m sorry,” I whispered. 

Once Madi was free of the collar she turned to me. “Lyss, enough, it’s okay.”

I released Clarke and she got to her knees, gasping, “You’re not going anywhere. I’m sorry too.” 

Wondering what she meant, I looked down and saw the red light of her radio. “Her mic is open, _dammit._ We have to go now.” 

The doors opened and McCreary and his soldiers came in, blocking both of the exits. He ordered two of his men, “Take the pilot and his girlfriend back to the ship.”

“Let me go, let me _go!_ ” Raven screamed. “Clarke, how could you do this?” 

“Kill the spy, let me have her friend,” he ordered.

They raised their guns towards Echo but Clarke held out her hands, “Wait. We need to talk to her. Both of them.”

He glanced at Madi out of the corner of his eye. “What do they want from _her_?” 

“I don’t know,” Clarke lied. “But if you kill Echo and Lyss then you’ll never find out.” 

“Who said anything about killing this one?” McCreary smiled at me before using his gun to knock out Echo, barely giving her a second look. “When they’re done talking, kill the spy, and bring this one to me. We’re going to have some fun…” 

He swung his gun around to knock me out but I reached up my hand and caught it, forcing him to drop the gun as I broke his middle finger. He glared at me and I grinned in response, flipping him the bird. “Oops. Guess you won’t be able to do this for a while.”

“Bitch,” he spat. “Don’t touch her,” he ordered the others. “Like I said— when you’re done, she’s _mine._ ” 

And then he knocked me out.

~

I came to groggily, and it annoyed me that Clarke’s face was the first thing I saw. Echo was already awake, strapped into the seat next to me and my jacket lay on the couch a few feet over, out of reach. 

“The great Wanheda,” Echo smirked. “Willing to do anything to protect her people. Correction— _person._ Too bad she doesn’t appreciate it.” 

“We’ve all got blood on our hands, don’t we?” Clarke replied. “Or do you think those people you blew up in Mount Weather don’t count because you were following orders?” 

I decided to join the conversation. “Normally I’d say now isn’t the time to take personal digs at each other, considering we’re in the middle of a goddamn war, but pointing a gun at the person you’ve called family for six years is a pretty personal matter, don’t you think? What the hell are you playing at? There are better ways to protect your family, Clarke. _All_ of your family.” 

Echo glared at her, “I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.” 

“Well that makes my dilemma a little easier then,” Clarke smiled.

“What dilemma?” Echo frowned. 

Clarke cocked her head briefly in the direction of McCreary’s guards. “Those men over my shoulder have orders to kill you as soon as we stop talking. I prefer they didn’t do that.” She turned to me, “And I don’t want to know what McCreary has in store for you, you seemed to have royally pissed him off.” 

I scoffed, “I can assure you, he’s not as pissed at me as I am at you right now.” 

“Why do you care?” Echo asked her.

“Bellamy loved you,” she replied. “You were good for him. As far as I can tell, he was good for you too.” I paused, taking note of the obvious past tense. Echo let out a small noise and Clarke frowned. “What?”

She smiled, “Bellamy’s not dead, Clarke. At least, he wasn’t until you—” Echo trailed off as Clarke’s eyes filled with tears. “He survived your betrayal in Polis long enough to march straight into your betrayal here.” She looked at Clarke’s torn expression. “What, now you care about Bellamy?”

“I always cared,” Clarke whispered.

I sighed, “You have a funny way of showing it. Anyway, thanks to you if he _is_ still alive, he won’t be for much longer because Shaw is going to launch those missiles into the gorge, and he’s going to agree to do it after they torture Raven.”

“He put the flame in Madi’s head,” Clarke said quietly.

“He did that to save us all,” Echo replied. “And she took it willingly. Didn’t you, Heda?”

“Don’t call her that,” Clarke snapped. 

“She knows I did,” Madi replied from a couch not that far away.

Clarke stood up and walked over to her, “Yeah, because you’re brave, and reckless, and I was in trouble.” 

“That’s right,” Madi confirmed. “I did it because I love you.” 

Clarke wiped a tear from her eye, “I thought love was weakness. Isn’t that what the Commanders in your head tell you?”

“Yes, all but one,” she answered.

“I think you should get some sleep,” Clarke turned away, hiding her tearstained face. 

“I don’t want to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see you outside the door at Mount Weather, ready for war, and then I walk away, leaving you there alone.” 

Clarke turned back around to face Madi. “Let me translate that for you. Lexa protected her people by making a deal with the enemy. Leaving Skaikru to die, yes, just like I’ve done here. I don’t need ghosts telling me what I’ve lost to protect you, Madi.”

“Clarke, she’s not a ghost. She’s real. They all are, and you’re wrong about why she’s showing me that memory. Betraying you is her deepest regret. She’s showing me that because she doesn’t want you to make the same mistake she did. Please, Clarke. I know you’re scared. I am too, but I have to do this. And you have to let me.”

She knelt down next to her, “Madi… this is how we survive.” 

“It may be… but life should be about more than just surviving,” Madi replied quietly. 

One of McCreary’s men stood up and walked towards Echo and I, pulling out his gun and aiming it at her head. Before he got the chance, Clarke had raised her own pistol and shot both of the men. 

I looked at her in disbelief. “Look, I know you want to protect your family. It’s something you’ve always done. But your family was never just Madi and your mom and me, it’s always been Bellamy, Raven, Monty, all of us. We’re all family, and we do whatever it takes. That’s how we’ve survived this long.” 

“I know,” she whispered as she untied me and Echo. 

Echo smiled, “Good choice.” 

“Come on,” Madi said firmly. “We need to get to the front before the missiles do. We can take the rover.” 

I picked up a gun, “I’m ready.”

“Good,” Echo nodded. “Murphy and Emori have one of the sonic cannons.” 

Madi looked up, concerned as Clarke watched us. “Clarke, there’s no time. We have to go.” 

“No, you have to go,” she replied. “I have to stop that transport ship from taking off so you can lead your people through that gorge. Here, you’ll need this to start the engine, remember where it goes?”

“Clarke, please. I need you,” Madi pleaded. 

“You will always have me,” Clarke put her hands on Madi’s shoulders to reassure her. “I will always protect you. This is how I do that now. You’re special, Madi. You are Madi kom Louwoda-Klironkru, heir to Bekka Pramheda and successor to Lexa kom Trikru. I loved her so much, but it’s nothing compared to how much I love you. Lyssa and Echo will be by your side, you got this.” 

“Every step of the way,” I confirmed as they hugged, Clarke reaching out with one hand and pulling me in haphazardly so I almost toppled them both over. 

Madi clung to her, whispering, “What if I never see you again?”

“No, not possible,” Clarke told her firmly. 

“How can you be sure?” I asked her.

Clarke let us both go, “It’s simple. Madi may be the Commander, but I’m the Commander of Death. And I say, we _will_ meet again.” 

I smiled at her in relief, “Clarke?”

“Yeah?” 

“Just in case… Be careful, don’t die.” 

“You too. Go save him.”

~

Madi fixed the rover and we drove straight to the cave where Murphy and Emori were. Echo grabbed them and told them the plan as I plugged in my MP3 to the rover for what could potentially be the last time. Madi sat in the back as I drove, grinning madly as I found the right song. “Buckle in,” I laughed. “It’s showtime.” 

“Great, Lyss is driving. We’re all going to die,” Madi sighed.

I rolled my eyes, “If there was ever a good time for my crazy driving, it’s now. It’s pretty damn hard to hit this much of a moving target. Glory, The Score. I’ve been waiting to bust out this song.”

I put the rover into reverse to get away from the cave before turning it around and driving out towards the wasteland to come in from behind. I tapped the steering wheel as the guitar started, turning the music up to maximum volume. “Hang on, and cover your ears. They’re going to hear us coming a mile away.” _Let’s go get our friends._

A part of me wondered what they would think when they heard us coming, but the guitar started louder than I’d ever heard it as the gorge came into view, the lyrics starting soon after.

_This is not another story_

_This is not another drill_

_But i refuse to be another number now_

_Never staying down, this is something real_

_I’m a name that you’ll remember_

_I am more than just a thrill_

_I am gonna be the greatest stepping out_

_Watch out, I’m a force that you will feel_

_And it goes something like_

_Ooh, ooh_

_I’m victorious_

_Ooh, ooh_

_It’s my time_

_Ooh, ooh_

Echo started the machine gun on the front of the rover as we pulled in. 

_There’s no stoppin’ this_

_‘Cause I was born for this_

**_I do it for the glory_ **

I jumped out and pulled out the two guns I’d gotten from McCreary’s fallen men. I shot a glance at Octavia with a grin, “WE’RE BACK BITCHES!”

She let out a short laugh in disbelief as Echo called to her, “Get in!”

Murphy jumped out the back, this time with his gun ready to go, “Yeah! Somebody call for a rescue?” 

“Hurry up!” Emori warned him, “We’re not staying!” 

“I thought you said you fixed this thing!” He complained as I gave him cover fire.

“I obviously didn’t!” She shot back at him. “It’s gonna blow, throw it now!” 

“Everybody in!” I shouted, as everyone piled into the back and I got back into the front, glancing at Madi to check she was okay as Bellamy shut the door behind them. I reversed and the car jolted as it pulled out of the gorge, but ultimately remained intact. 

Bellamy raised an eyebrow at me, “Lyss is driving?” 

“Fuck yeah! Now _that’s_ what I call a goddamn rescue!” I pumped my fist, swerving the car a little. “Sorry,” I muttered an apology, too pumped from the successful rescue and the relief inside me of its actual success to turn the music down any more than ten turns. 

Murphy laughed, grinning at Emori. “Yeah! We just did that!” 

Madi let out a sigh of relief, glancing at me in the mirror with a small grin. “I thought you weren't’ allowed to swear around me?” 

“That ship has sailed,” I replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's mentioned, but I'll say it again. The song in the rescue is "Glory" by The Score.


	12. Damocles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What do we do now?" 
> 
> "Now we win."

It was a bit of a bumpy ride even by my standards, but the drive to the makeshift camp in the wasteland was otherwise uneventful. I was profusely apologetic to Gaia, who appeared to be bleeding out in the back of the rover, but other than that it went without a hitch. I pulled up and wound down the window as Murphy helped the wounded out the back. 

“Oi Miller, put the guns down would you?” I shouted, beeping the horn. 

He obliged as Harper and Monty pushed forward to the front as Bellamy, Murphy, Harper and Monty carried out Gaia while Indra watched nervously with Octavia. I turned around to Madi who was hovering at the back door of the rover. She looked up at me and whispered, “I have to do this.”

“I know,” I smiled. “And I’m with you. Every step of the way.” 

“What do I do?” Madi asked, looking around. 

Someone behind me announced, “Blodreina’s coming,” and I instinctively moved to stand in front of Madi. 

Bellamy and Echo stood in front of me and Bellamy put out a hand to stop her, “What are you doing?”

“Out of my way,” she ordered firmly. 

“O, she saved us,” Bellamy said quietly. 

Madi looked at Octavia before conceding, “Let her pass.”

“Mads, are you sure?” I whispered.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Echo warned, “Heda, I’m not sure that’s a good—”

“I said let her pass,” Madi announced with more authority this time. Echo and Bellamy stood aside and let Octavia walk towards us. I took two steps out of the way but was still close enough if necessary. 

Octavia pulled out her sword and slammed the blade into the ground so that it stuck out upwards as she got to her knees in front of her Commander. The rest of the army followed suit and kneeled to Madi. _She was in charge now._

~

Before they went to find Madi— she had been in the makeshift medical tent since the sun began to rise, watching over Gaia— I grabbed Bellamy and pulled him around a corner out of the way. 

“Lyss…” he started, unsure of what to say. His hand scratched the back of his neck as I unfolded my arms. 

My hand cracked across his face like a whip. “That’s for putting the flame in Madi. I don’t care that she’s now everybody’s goddamn saviour she is also a part of my family and that has put her in danger. There’s nothing I can do about it now, but I’d like you to know I am _very fucking pissed._ Okay?”

“You still led the rescue team though,” he said slowly. 

I rolled my eyes, “Of course I led the fucking rescue team. I’m incredibly mad, but I’m not ‘leave you to die’ mad.” I punched him lightly in the arm, my anger slowly evaporating. “I drove the rover. Because I’m the superior driver, evidently.” 

He scoffed at that, but then his face turned grave again. “We need to talk about you leaving Polis.” 

“Not now,” I sighed. “When the war is over, _then_ you can lecture me about personal safety. Before then, I’m going to do a shit ton more reckless things so you can add them to the list.” 

Before he could reply, Echo called his name and he was forced to jog away towards her and Miller. I knew the conversation wasn’t over, but at least I wouldn’t have to deal with the “Lyss is going to get herself killed” look of disapproval that crosses his face every time I do something stupid. 

I jogged after them and into medical as he knelt down next to Madi. “Everyone will follow you, but you have to lead them.” 

“I don’t want to lead them into a massacre,” she replied concernedly. 

“We have the numbers, Heda. As long as we press forward, we’ll make it through,” Indra confirmed. 

Bellamy nodded, “We’ll be right beside you.” 

I put a hand on her shoulder, “You got this.” 

“I’m not worried about myself,” she paused. “Look around you. There has to be a better way than rushing back in to those guns.” 

“If there is, we would’ve thought of it,” Indra replied slowly. 

Gaia’s voice was weak but her words still caught everyone’s attention. “Ask the Commanders,” she said softly. 

“How, Seda?” Madi asked worriedly. “They only talk to me in my dreams and show me what they want me to see.” 

Gaia reached up and put her hand on Madi’s face, “Close your eyes.”

“Gaia we don’t have time—” Bellamy began, but I cut him off. 

“Not your area of expertise, I think she’s got this one.” 

“Just wait,” Indra whispered, and Gaia sent her mother a look of gratitude before continuing. 

Gaia stroked Madi’s face as she whispered, “Breathe. In and out. Let this world peel away, and repeat after me. _Mens mea fiat mens tua.”_

_“My mind is your mind,”_ Madi repeated in Trig, before she lifted her head and something happened. Her eyelids began to flutter without opening and she clenched and unclenched her fists for a moment before her eyes flashed open. “I have a plan.” 

“Of course you do,” Gaia replied, holding out her hand with the Commander’s headpiece on it. 

“That’s my girl,” I whispered, putting my arm around her and grinning. “Now what do we have to do to win this thing?” 

~

The plan involved me driving the rover. 

“No music,” Echo warned. 

I scoffed, “They can see us coming from miles away, if they can hear us too then they can hear us too.” I turned up the volume on _Legend_ by The Score as we entered the gorge. 

Murphy turned around from the passenger seat and shot a look at Echo. “I don’t see any missiles. Thank you, _Clarke._ ” 

“Now it’s our turn,” Bellamy nodded. 

They opened fire on us but I swerved to not give them a steady target. Even though we were drawing their fire, we had to stay in the game as long as possible. 

Murphy sighed, “Remind me why I’m not shooting the Gatling gun?” 

“This is Madi’s plan, we’re drawing their cannon fire,” Bellamy explained. 

He rolled his eyes, “By giving them a big target? Yeah, that’s a great plan.” 

I laughed, quoting Monty. “Ye of little faith.” 

The rover jolted and began to skid to a halt. I slammed my fist on the dashboard and groaned. Murphy raised an eyebrow, “You were saying?”

“What’s wrong?” Bellamy asked. “We’re not close enough.” 

“They got the engine, damn it!” Emori cursed. I pulled out the MP3 and pocketed it as we pulled ourselves away from the windshield. 

“Ready to strike, big gun,” Murphy warned. “Go! Now! Be heroes!” 

“I haven’t got a shot!” Bellamy shouted, “Not close enough!” 

“I do,” Echo announced, loosing an arrow and letting it fly dead into the cannon, blowing up the pillbox entirely. 

Bellamy groaned, “Still not close enough.” 

Murphy climbed into the front seat, “Go! I’ll cover you!”

“John, you’ll get hit!” Emori screamed worriedly. 

He smirked, “I thought you didn’t care?” as a bullet tore through his shoulder. Murphy cried out, opening fire on them. 

“John!” Emori shouted as a second one lodged in him. 

“Son of a bitch,” I cursed, climbing out the back of the rover and running for cover behind a large rock. Bellamy needed a clear shot and I’ll be damned if I didn’t take out as many of the other guards as possible. I popped up, dodging a bullet that would’ve been a headshot if I hadn’t ducked. I raised my gun and took out one of the shooters, “For my home,” I muttered, taking down another, “For my family,” I raised the gun again and fired off another shot before a bullet hit my left arm. “For my friends.” I sagged backwards slightly from the impact, clutching my arm. Luckily it hadn’t gone straight through, just skimmed a long line between my elbow and shoulder and cut open my jacket. “Bullshit!” I cursed, “I liked this jacket!” I turned to Bellamy, “No cannon yet.”

He glanced up at me and at my arm, which I had now given up on using through the pain and was only using my right arm to hold the gun. I pressed myself flat against the rock while I caught my breath. “Are you okay?” he asked concernedly. 

I laughed, “Never better. What do we do now?” 

The cannon emerged from the pillbox and finally began to load up. “Now we win,” he grinned, opening fire on it. I joined him, the joint bullet fire meaning that one of us hit the cannon instantly and it exploded, throwing back some of the men up there. The signal for the rest of the army. 

So they charged.

I grabbed Bellamy’s arm, “Protect Madi. I have to help Murphy and we’ll only slow you down. Protect her, please. At all costs. Promise me.” 

He nodded, “I promise.” 

They left with the rest of the army into the village and I ran over to Emori, who had one of Murphy’s arms over her shoulder. I grabbed his other arm and threw it over my back as we tried to get him to his feet. He swayed, but we were stable enough to move forward. 

Emori let out a feeble nervous laugh, “How’s it feel to be the good guys?”

“It feels great. Bloody brilliant. I’m in absolutely no pain whatsoever,” I answered through gritted teeth. 

Murphy laughed, “Having the time of my life.” 

We met up with the rest of the people transporting the wounded just as the siren rang out. I frowned, “That’s not… that doesn’t sound good.” 

Raven’s voice echoed out of every radio, “Everyone, listen up. Life as we know it is about to end, _again._ Get your asses to the transport ship now for immediate evacuation.” 

Monty picked up the radio, “Raven, it’s Monty. We’re transporting the wounded.”

“Thank god, Monty,” she replied. “Hurry!” 

Murphy groaned, throwing his arm off from around me. “Wait, wait, wait. Stop a second.” 

“It’s slow going,” Monty warned Raven. “Aside from all other questions, how long do we have?” 

“Nine minutes,” she answered. “We’ll wait as long as we can.” 

Monty glanced at me, “Déjà vu.”

Murphy collapsed against the tree, pulling me down with him. Emori crouched next to us, her eyes filled with worry. Niylah checked his wounds briefly before standing back up. “He won’t make it. We have to go without him.” 

“Just go,” Murphy whispered.

Monty caught Harper, “Show the others the way. I’ll take Murphy, we’ll be right behind you.” She kissed him before yelling at the others to follow her as Monty knelt down next to us. 

“She’s right. Just go on,” Murphy said weakly, his hand over his wounds. “It’s too far. There’s not enough time.” 

“Then I guess we’re both gonna die, because there’s no way in hell I can leave the man I love behind,” Emori told him firmly. 

He shook his head, tears filling his eyes. “Look, I’m not gonna do that to you, Emori. I can’t run.” 

“Yes you can,” she pleaded with him. 

“No…” Monty whispered, “But I can.” 

Murphy screamed in pain as Monty picked him up, hauling him completely onto his back and groaning. Emori travelled alongside to spot them and I clutched my arm. I desperately hoped we’d get there in time. 

It was a slow process, but we were going as fast as we could. By my guess, it was about three minutes left before they had to leave. There was a loud boom like something had just entered the earth’s atmosphere. Annoyingly, I looked up and something had. I couldn’t tell what it was through the trees but I knew it wasn’t good. “We gotta keep moving,” I urged, even though my vision was beginning to swim. “Two minutes.” 

“We’re almost— there,” Monty grunted. “Bellamy! Wait!”

I could hear the ominous counting down of the computer as we emerged from the treeline, Monty having to drop Murphy and throw his arm around his shoulders instead as Bellamy ran and helped us. By this point I could barely think straight, blood was dripping from the wound in my arm but also from another injury in my thigh that I hadn’t noticed. It wasn’t deep, but the blood was spreading and I had no idea how it had happened. Clarke was at the door with Madi and she pulled the lever to close the door behind us as the planet caught fire. 

Madi grabbed me and I sagged into her arms, slowly losing consciousness but fighting against it. Clarke grabbed my arm— my uninjured one— and pulled it over her shoulders to take me to the medical area. “Murphy… first…” I whispered, removing my arm and pushing her in his direction as I held onto Madi and the wall for support, sliding as the ship took off. 

Emori stood by Murphy’s side and Monty had a brief reunion with Harper as they watched over Murphy, letting Clarke tend to his wounds first. I took one last look out the window to watch the planet succumb to fire as we left its atmosphere. 

Bellamy looked over at me for a second from his place by Murphy and realised I was about to pass out, moving over in a fluid motion to catch me, knowing that Madi wouldn’t be able to support me on her own. My legs buckled and he wrapped his arms around me as we both sank to the floor, letting me down gently. 

Madi’s eyes filled with fear, “Alyssa? Alyssa?”

“It’s okay, Mads,” I forced a smile onto my face as I reached out and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’ve survived worse.”

I passed out in Bellamy’s arms. Old habits die hard, I guess. 

~

I woke up with a large bandage running the length of my arm and stitches underneath it. My arm was stiff but I kept it straight in case it pulled on the stitches. Using my other arm to push myself upright, I sat up and winced. Someone had also fixed the random wound in my leg, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. I looked around. Gaia seemed to be improving, she was asleep with Indra by her side but her heart rate was steady according to the monitors and she had a fresh dressing on her leg. Murphy was passed out on a bed but I spotted the dish next to him with two bullets in and sighed in relief. He was going to be okay. Emori looked up and locked eyes with me, sending me a hopeful smile. 

“Lyss?” 

Using all the strength I had, I turned myself over to face Madi. “Hey, kid.” 

“Jackson patched you up. He also told me to tell you that you’re not immortal,” she raised an eyebrow at me and I laughed, even though it hurt a little. 

“He can’t prove anything, I haven’t died yet,” I announced pointedly and heard Jackson let out a small laugh from the other end of the room. He looked up and smiled and I mouthed to him, “Thank you.” 

Clarke came in in a hurry but she paused when she saw me awake. She moved over quickly and hugged me lightly, careful to avoid my injured arm. “How are you holding up?”

I shrugged, wincing and realising it probably wasn’t the best movement. “I’ve been better. Anyway, you should’ve seen the other guy.” 

She laughed, “If you’re up to it, go to the bridge later. I think we’re deciding the fate of the human race. _Again._ ” 

“I’ll be there.” 

Clarke nodded and fashioned me a sling before continuing through to the operating room. I winced as I pushed myself up and off the bed and Madi wrapped an arm around my waist for support. “You sure you want to get up?” 

“Yeah,” I smiled. “I’m due a lecture. Something to do with ‘regarding my own safety’ and ‘not getting shot all the damn time’.” 

She let out a small laugh, before turning to the window and looking back down at earth, which was now completely a wasteland. “The valley was our home…” 

“Hey,” I put an arm around her. “Home isn’t a place. It’s the people. As long as I’m with my family, I’m home,” I whispered. 

Madi nodded, “Then I’m home right now.”

I made my way to the bridge slowly. Clarke hadn’t arrived yet and so far it was just Monty and Harper who smiled when they saw me and wrapped me in a light hug, cautious of my wounds. They released me carefully and we looked out across what used to be a vibrant landscape of colour. At least, before Praimfaya I and II. I felt Bellamy’s presence next to me as he arrived more than I saw it, but I looked up and made brief eye contact with him. He broke it off first, his eyes trailing down my arm and the bloodstain on the thin pair of trousers I was wearing. 

Clarke walked in, accompanied by Murphy and Emori, and soon Shaw and Raven followed after them. Madi joined us, along with a few others including Echo, and after looking out the window for a moment Emori called to Shaw to shut it so that we could discuss our options. 

“Like our ancestors on the Ark, we’re the last of the human race,” Bellamy began. 

“Our ancestors were wrong,” Clarke continued. “We’re not.”

Bellamy nodded, “Four hundred and twelve people on this ship. Thanks to Madi, we saved who could be saved. Now it’s our job to keep them alive. How do we do that?”

Monty stepped forwards, producing a small container filled with something green. “Algae?”

“Oh, float me now,” Murphy groaned, making everyone laugh a little. 

Shaw raised a hand, getting everyone’s attention. “Can I…?” Bellamy nodded and Shaw began to speak. “From what we know about the half-life of Hythylodium, it’ll be at least ten years before that valley comes back. This ship does have a small water recycler and a few weeks’ worth of rations but that’s it. Cryo is the only option.” 

I paused, “Just to be clear, we’re going to freeze ourselves?”

“Something like that,” Murphy replied with a shrug and a wince at the movement.

I nodded, “Okay. Glad that’s clarified.” 

“There are five hundred pods,” Shaw continued. “Which is more than enough for what we need.”

Raven backed him up, “I agree with Shaw. The tech is amazing. We go to sleep, we don’t age, we wake the next morning. It’s ten years later and Bob’s your uncle.”

Monty laughed, grinning, “I thought you hated that phrase?”

She shrugged, “It’s growing on me.” 

Bellamy looked over, “It’s up to you, Madi.” 

Clarke gave her an encouraging nod and Madi agreed. “Okay. I guess it’s time for bed.” 

~

“Okay, Madi. It’s time,” Clarke whispered. “We’re all set.” 

Everyone had changed into the Eligius issue pyjamas and it was quite funny to see that we were all in various stages of matching. Madi looked up at Clarke and I as she sat on the platform that would be her bed for the next ten years. “Will we dream?”

“I don’t know,” Clarke replied. “But if we do, I’ll see you in mine.” 

I laughed, “God, that’s so much more poetic than what I was going to reply with.” 

“What were you going to say?” Madi laughed. 

“‘Fuck, I sure hope not’, was my first reaction,” I grinned. 

Clarke helped Madi lie down and removed the Commander’s headpiece. She kissed her forehead and I gave her a quick hug before Clarke pressed the button and Madi disappeared into the cryo chamber. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispered to her. She turned to me. “Are you going in next?” 

I shook my head, “I will eventually, but not just yet. You first, come on.” 

Clarke nodded, “Okay, but don’t do anything stupid.” 

“I won’t,” I laughed. “I swear.” I turned around and looked at Bellamy, cocking my head in the direction of the door. “Can we talk? I’ll only be a minute.” He nodded and watched Octavia’s pod shut and dim before making his way over there. I gave Clarke a firm one-armed hug before she climbed onto the platform and lay down. “I love you, we’re family. Always will be.”

“We _are_ family. I’m sorry I lost sight of that. Love you too, Lyssa,” she smiled at me before closing her eyes as the glass covered her and her pod slid into place. 

I walked slowly towards the door, meeting Bellamy in front of the window. “Hey.” I paused, expecting a raving lecture from him before I could get a word in. Something along the lines of there are things I shouldn’t do, because they’re dangerous, and I could get hurt, and I could almost die… but it never came. Bellamy looked up at me, eyes full of exhaustion as he opened his mouth and seemed to think better of it, closing it again shortly after. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out what to say. 

“Look, I’m sorry,” I started. “I shouldn’t have left without—” 

The hug caught me off guard, but he was careful to avoid my arm. I wrapped my good arm around his neck and melted into his touch, listening to the sound of his heartbeat as I buried my head in his Eligius pyjamas. “You could have died,” he whispered. 

“That’s funny coming from Bellamy ‘eyes sharp, weapons hot’ Blake, who not that long ago walked into a negotiation armed with nothing but a goddamn coffee cup,” I laughed weakly. 

“It was stupid and reckless… and exactly the kind of thing I wanted to do,” he smiled shyly. “I know you always do whatever it takes to protect people, I’m the same, but…” Bellamy trailed off, bringing himself to look into my eyes before finishing, “I spent six years thinking you were dead. That you and Clarke died in Praimfaya. And then the moment I get you back, less than a week later you’ve disappeared again to run headlong into danger, and you didn’t even say goodbye?”

I sighed, “I know. It was stupid of me. I just had a feeling you wouldn’t let me go, and I knew you were needed in Polis… that Octavia needed you… that Madi needed you… I’m still a little mad at you putting the flame in her, by the way, even though I know it was the right decision.”

“I know,” he smiled. “Just… you’re not invincible, Lyss.” 

“So I’ve been told,” I laughed. “So I’ve been told… How about this? Next time I decide to do something incredibly stupid, I give you a little warning first?” I raised an eyebrow. 

“I’ve got a better plan. How about you _don’t_ do anything else incredibly stupid?”

I rolled my eyes, smiling, “Compromise. I’ll bring you with me? Deal?” 

“Deal,” he nodded, holding out his hand for me to shake and grinning.

“Now…” I looked back towards the cryo room. “It’s time for a ten-year nap.” 

~

I arched my back in a stretch after the glass cover was removed and my eyes had fluttered open. Ten years of cryosleep had not done anything good to my joints. I propped myself up on one elbow and looked around. The only people awake were Echo, Murphy, Emori, Raven, Shaw, Bellamy, Abby and Clarke. Clarke was helping her mom out of the cryo pod and I winced as I tried to get myself up. 

Murphy was in the process of waking up and he groaned loudly, loud enough for all of us to hear anyway. “Just five more minutes,” he pleaded. 

I laughed, “Murphy it’s been ten years, I think you’re well enough rested.” 

Bellamy and Clarke shot each other a worried glance before my eyes rested on someone I hadn’t previously noticed. He had short, cropped hair and he was quite tall but with kind eyes and a smile that reminded me of Harper’s. I paused. Harper and Monty. Where the hell were they? 

Bellamy came over and offered me a hand to get down from the platform. I took it gratefully and picked up the sling that Clarke had brought over for me. I looked around again, “Where are Harper and Monty? Shouldn’t they be here?” 

“It’s… complicated,” he sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Once everyone’s up and changed, we’ll play the message and it’ll explain.”

“Who’s that?” I asked, cocking my head in the direction of the kid I didn’t recognise. 

“Jordan,” he replied. “Get dressed and make your way to the bridge,” he handed me my old clothes. “Then we’ll explain.” 

I nodded, “Okay…” 

Once I was changed, I approached the kid I didn’t know— Jordan— and said hi. “I’m Alyssa,” I smiled, holding out my hand to shake his. He hesitated for a moment, as if confused by the action, before shaking it gently. 

“Jordan Jasper Green. Did I do that right? I haven’t met many people yet but I think I’m improving,” he said with a smile. _Green._ No wonder his smile reminded me of Harper’s. 

“Monty and Harper… they didn’t go to sleep, did they?” I asked. _I didn’t get to say goodbye._

He shook his head, “No. My parents enjoyed the time they spent on the ring together… I guess they wanted to go back to that. I’m really excited to finally meet you, I know a lot about you guys.”

“Okay,” I nodded, forcing a smile onto my face as I wiped a stray tear from my eye. “We’re going to the bridge, right?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, leading the way. 

We walked to the bridge and I met the others there. The only person who’d taken longer to get changed than me was Murphy, and he was wearing a sling identical to mine when he showed up. I sent a half-smile in his direction and he returned one back. 

Bellamy pressed play on the video button, “If you haven’t already guessed… Monty and Harper didn’t go into cryosleep like the rest of us.” 

Monty’s face filled the screen as he fiddled with the camera. “Hey, guys. It’s been about a year since you all went to bed. Not much to report, really. My algae farm is awesome, no surprise there.” I couldn’t help but smile as another tear ran down my cheek. “Oh, I’m able to monitor conditions on the ground using the ship’s geologic equipment, so, I’ll know when it’s safe for us to go back down. Gets a little lonely sometimes without the rest of you, but the peace and quiet is what—” 

He was cut off by Harper appearing next to him, “Monty, I’ve been waiting…”

“Harper, wait—” he warned, “I’m in the middle of—” 

“You promised me,” she kissed along his jawline, “We still have another forty staterooms that—” Harper noticed the camera and ducked down, laughing, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Monty grinned, “Uh… not a lot to do in space.” He cleared his throat. 

Next to me, Jordan shuddered. “I never need to see that again.” 

The video cut to another which started out black, but it was only Monty’s shirt and as he backed away from the camera and into the centre of the frame he revealed a very pregnant Harper standing next to him and smiling. “Hey again,” he grinned. “Today is the two-year anniversary of the long nap. Harper’s been eating a little too much algae.” 

Harper laughed, rolling her eyes at him and holding her stomach gently, “Hilarious. Hey guys, um, surprise?” She laughed lightly, “Oh, we picked a name today. Boy or girl— Jordan.” 

“I think Jasper would like that,” Monty nodded with a small smile and I felt my heart twist even more as more tears dripped onto my shirt. “Anyway, still no sign the ground is coming back. I wouldn’t expect it this soon, so I’m not worried. We’ll check back in next time there’s news.” 

The next video started with a close up of a baby, Monty’s voice in the background as he held his son up to the camera. “Meet Jordan Jasper Green. Shh,” he comforted the baby. “That’s all for now,” he grinned, “Harper’s resting. We’re both good though. He’ll be eight when you meet him. I can’t wait to see your faces.”

I ran a hand through my hair, blinking back more tears enough so that I could still see the video. Clarke put her arm around me and pulled me in for a half-hug, squeezing me gently. 

On the other side of me, Jordan sighed. “Things didn’t go as planned…” 

“Happy wakeup day,” we were greeted by Monty’s next video. “Ten years. And since you’re watching this sometime in the future you know now that… that I didn’t wake you up. That’s because there’s still nothing down there. I’m working the problem.” He looked away from the camera briefly before pulling it closer to him and lowering his voice. “I told Harper it’s to be expected, but, um… Well, that’s a lie. This is gonna take a while. Jordan is doing great, though. He’s a happy kid. I took a page from Clarke’s parenting book, he knows all about you guys. Believe it or not, _Murphy’s_ his favourite.” 

I glanced over at Murphy and he had a shy grin on his face as he ducked his head, looking away. Jordan shrugged, “It was a rebellious phase.” I could almost imagine eight-year-old Jordan taking after Murphy and it was enough to stop the tears for a little bit as I smiled at the thought. 

“Anyway,” video-Monty sighed, “It’s gonna be a while. I’ll let you know if things change.” 

There was a much larger gap before the next one, and both Harper and Monty looked tired and worn as their hair greyed, but they had wrinkles on their faces from laughing and smiling and I knew that this life was the one they wanted. “Hey guys,” Monty gave us a half-smile. “We just put Jordan in cryo. He’s a good boy.”

“Smart, like his father,” Harper rested her head on Monty’s shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. 

“And kind like his mom. We chose this life. He didn’t.” Monty released Harper and sat down next to her, reaching for her hand instead. “Hey, if you’re watching this, kiddo. We love you so much. Did you follow my instructions? Assuming he did, hey Bellamy, hey Clarke. We wanted him to wake you first so that we could talk.” 

That explained why they seemed so calm. 

I reached for Jordan’s hand as tears filled his eyes. This part looked like it was hard for him, seeing his parents talk to him like that after they were gone. He looked at me and sighed, and I sent him an encouraging smile through my own tears. 

“Earth… isn’t coming back,” Monty revealed. “You’ve been asleep for over twenty-eight years. And it’s as dead as the day we left. I’m working on a Plan B, though. If you’re awake, that means I’ve found it. I’ll see you again when I do.” He moved to turn off the camera but Harper caught him. 

“Wait,” she whispered. “Not yet. Take care of our boy,” Harper said as tears filled her eyes. 

The final video started with Monty slowing easing himself into the chair in front of the camera. He looked torn and devastated. “Jordan… your mother died today. She was pretty sick the last few years. Clarke, you were right. Her dad’s genetic condition finally got her. We had a good life, sometimes… I know she wanted to be with you guys. Maybe I did too. But if we did that, I wouldn’t be able to show you this, son.” As if on cue, Jordan flicked a switch in the control panel and the window cover slowly opened to reveal a planet. “It took me thirty years, but I finally cracked the Eligius three mission file. Turns out it wasn’t a mining mission. After sucking the earth dry of oil, they went looking for another planet to tap.”

My hand flew up to my mouth as I covered it in shock. The suns, the planet, the clouds… it was beautiful. Two suns. I looked over at Shaw and mouthed, “Two suns, no sunscreen needed.” Something he’d said the first day he met me. He let out a breathless laugh in reply, looking at the planet in disbelief. 

“I set the coordinates a week ago,” Monty explained. “If I’m right, you should get there in… seventy-five years. I’m tempted to put myself in cryo to see it, but without Harper… anyway. It’s in the Goldilocks zone of a binary star system. But that’s all I know. Eligius three never radioed back, or if they did, it was after apocalypse one, so no one heard it. Can you see it? Is it beautiful? It is in my dreams. I hope we do better there. I hope Jasper was wrong, and we aren’t the problem. I hope your lives there will be as happy as mine has been. Be the good guys. May we meet again.” 

“May we meet again,” I whispered, leaning into Clarke as tears rolled down my cheeks.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay the ending of the s5 finale really does always make me cry without fail. Like Monty and Harper aksjdasjhdjsdhj I love them so much.


End file.
